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Stats: 11,092 words / Reading Time: 55.46 mins

Published: Wednesday, 30th December 2020

By: Gboyega ADEDEJI

How To CARRY The CROSS Of MARRIAGE In CHRIST Pt. 2 is read 2.3K times on CentreNDL.org 2.3K


The 7 SECRETS of Oneness in MARRIAGE From Jesus Christ

Listen To Podcast: How To CARRY The CROSS Of MARRIAGE In CHRIST Pt. 2

Today we are continuing what we started last week. Last week we began looking at How to Carry the Cross of Marriage in Christ and today we are examining the part two of that same topic. We began looking at the book of Matthew 19:1-10 and then we looked again at that subtopic: Divorce is not an option. We saw from Genesis 3 from verse 1 how the marriage of Adam and Eve was brought into a serious state. In fact, what the wife did was something that was enough in the eyes of any Jew to divorce Eve. But when Adam made a provision for himself after the fall, he made for his wife also. And the Bible says “and they made for themselves covering materials from the leaves.” And from Genesis 4, the Bible talked about how they began to have children.


So, they were not separated, the fall of man, the dethroning of man did not bring the marriage of man into a stop. That means there was no need for Adam to have requested for another woman. I am sure we know that if God was able to bring Eve to him, God could have brought another woman to him. God could have said “this woman can no longer follow you into the fulfillment of your destiny, let me create another woman.” God didn’t do that. The same woman God gave him at the beginning, even after the fall, the same woman is relevant for his fulfillment. So, there could be errors or mistakes. There could be moments where it seems you fall into the ditch, but that is not enough reason for you to ditch your marriage. So, what do you do? You simply remain.


So, we saw that divorce is not an option, we also saw in Malachi when God said “I hate divorce.” So, it means if God says he hates divorce, it presupposes that God loves a man and his wife becoming one. We saw two destinations: The destiny of oneness and the destiny of divorce. We saw that the destiny of oneness is what is available in God, that is His intention of anyone who wants to get married. And the destiny of divorce is available in the world. When you look at the world critically, you will divorce in it. It does not have any tenure. Marriages in the world breaks at any time. But in Christ, oneness is the destiny.


We stopped the moment we were about examining Learning from The Heavenly Marriage. We realized that our God is one. Yet we see: God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit and Jesus emphatically said “we are one.” So, that gives us an idea of what God expects us to follow on the earth. When Jesus was teaching His disciples how to pray, He told them to say “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy will be done on earth as it is done in heaven.” So, if we are exposed to the marriage in heaven, the goal is that we can replicate same on earth. There is no point learning from the heavenly marriage when our own marriage cannot reflect it. You remember the Bible says “God made man in His own image.” He said: “Let US!” So, we can see that the statement came from a united front.


Although you could see us as the Father, the Spirit and the Son, yet, we are one. So, whatever comes of any of us is as it is from all of us; same goal, same identity, same destination. So, I want us to consider 1 Corinthians 11:3, even as we proceed further in looking at the heavenly marriage. The Bible says: “But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.” But yet we say “God is one”, yet, Christ Himself said “There is the Father, there is Me Christ, and there is the Spirit of the Father.” Jesus said “I, I am in the Father, and the Father is in me.” But in spite of their oneness, there is the head. So, no matter how much we talk about hierarchy or authority in marriage, it must never be out of the context of oneness. There is no how you can exact your authority in the marriage as a man that voids the terms of your union.


There is a level the man exercise authority to the degree that it could be the singular reason he is separated from his wife. Even though the head of Christ is God, yet, God and Christ are one. Let us see John 14:28. The Bible says: “You have heard Me say to you, ‘I am going away and coming back to you.’ If you loved Me, you would rejoice because I said, ‘I am going to the Father,’ for My Father is greater than I.”  At the latter part of this message, the Holy Spirit will be showing us some tips, especially for women in marriage that will gradually reenforce the oneness that God has ordained, looking at Christ in the context of marriage. When you talk about marriage on earth today, you know it is between a man and his wife, right? Now we are looking at Christ, the Father and the Spirit and we will see how Christ related with the Father in that Spirit of oneness. Who is Christ to the Father and who is the Father to Christ? So, who is a man expected to be to his wife and who is a woman expected to be to her husband? Do we understand?


So, already, the Bible has shown us that the head of every man is Christ, the head of every woman is the man and the head of Christ is God. So, we can see that in the spirit of oneness, there is order, there is authority. Now, Jesus again said “My Father is greater than I.” Even though we are one, I am one with Him, He is greater than I. Do we understand? John 15:26, the Bible says: “But when the Helper comes, whom I shall send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who proceeds from the Father, He will testify of Me. 27 And you also will bear witness, because you have been with Me from the beginning.” In other words, Jesus is saying I am sending the Spirit to you, the Father will release Him to come. Do we understand? The Spirit of the Father is the Spirit of the Son. So, when the Son sends the Spirit, it is the same Spirit that proceeds from the Father that the Son is sending, it is not a different Spirit.


So, you are seeing marriage in raw form, in a real sense of it. So, what comes of the Father is also what comes of the Son. The same Spirit of the Father is the same Spirit of the Son. Now, look at it now. One thing is clear from this verse that we just read that the same Spirit of the Father is the same Spirit of Christ. So, we can say that the same spirit of the man is the same spirit of the wife. Do we understand? Both of them have the same spirit. Let us see John 16:7, 12-15. Jesus said: Nevertheless, I tell you the truth. It is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you; but if I depart, I will send Him to you. “I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. 13 However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come.”


The Spirit will proceed from the Father because the Son is sending the Spirit. Now, the Spirit will not speak of His own authority, He will speak of the authority of the Father. But there is something that Jesus said here. He referred to the Holy Spirit as the helper. You know, when God had concluded making man and man has started ruling, God said “it is not good for the man to be alone, I will make a helper comparable to him.” And so, the woman was made out of the man and then brought to the man. When God was to form the woman, the Bible says He opened the rib of the side of the man and took the rib and with the rib He made a woman and brought her to him. So, we can see the woman as one made from the man.


So, when Jesus was telling us “the Spirit will proceed from the Father”, we are seeing an example. The helper of God and of His creation coming from the Father. The helper of your life and destiny coming from you. We can see that what God did with man was something that had existed with Him. It was a model that was clear to God that God only replicated on the earth. So, if you must understand the nature of your marriage, you must understand the nature of the divine marriage. So, the helper, just like the woman, the Holy Spirit. But you can see the character of the helper, He will not speak of His own authority. He will not also come simply because He wants to come. It is not about what the Spirit wants to do, it is about what the Father wants to do. So, you can see that the will of the Spirit is ultimately the will of the Father and it is also the will of the Son. There is agreement of purpose. The Spirit does not move without the Father moving.


See what happens in Genesis 1:1-3, “in the beginning God created the heavens and the earth, the earth was without form and void and darkness was upon the face of the deep and the spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters. Then God said.” You can see alignment, agreement. There was no incidence of working at cross-purpose. Each one did what each one is expected towards achieving the one goal, the one agenda. So, you don’t see yourself as a man distinct from your wife. Your wife shouldn’t see herself distinct from the husband. In reality, we should share the same spirit. So, that is a picture. But let us see the other part of that in John 10:27-10. I am sure we are noticing everything about the heavenly vision are the words of Jesus Himself. They are the words of Christ introducing us to what we have not seen before. The Bible says:


“My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. 28 And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand. 29 My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of My Father’s hand. 30 I and My Father are one.”


So, I am sure we understand that. The question we should be asking is: If Christ and the Father are one, are they divorced? Because the Bible says for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. So, God ordained that every marriage must end in oneness. And Jesus said “my Father and I are one.” The question we should ask is: Since they became one, have they divided from being one? So, if the heavenly marriage does not pain any picture of divorce, why should the earthly marriage have divorce in it? That is why the Bible says God said “I have divorce.” You know Jesus said it boldly that from the beginning it was not so. But Moses said we could. Jesus said Moses because of the hardness of your heart and lack of maturity, indiscipline, greed, ambitions and your lust, permitted you. But it was not so at the beginning, it was an aberration. It was never the intention of God. It was only a permissible well, it was never a perfect plan.


So, when God was seeing the future ahead of us, He was not seeing us as a people divorced. Imagine, apostle Paul said “what shall separate us from the love of Christ?” or haven’t you read in one of his epistles where apostle Paul called the church the bride of Christ? Now, if the church is the bride and Christ is the husband, Paul said what shall separate us from the love of Christ, Jesus our husband. That tells us that nothing can do it.





“I came to send fire on the earth, and how I wish it were already kindled! 50 But I have a baptism to be baptized with, and how distressed I am till it is accomplished!

Luke 12:49-50


In other words, Jesus was saying “my goal is to set fire on the earth”, you know John said “I did not know Him but that He should be revealed, I came baptizing.” And the one who sends me to baptize me says on Him you see the Spirit of God descending and remaining, it is Him that will baptize the people with the Holy Spirit. And Jesus said I came to send fire upon the earth. Let us go to Matthew 27:45-50. The Bible says:


Now from the sixth hour until the ninth hour there was darkness over all the land. 46 And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?” that is, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” 47 Some of those who stood there, when they heard that, said, “This Man is calling for Elijah!” 48 Immediately one of them ran and took a sponge, filled it with sour wine and put it on a reed, and offered it to Him to drink. 49 The rest said, “Let Him alone; let us see if Elijah will come to save Him.” 50 And Jesus cried out again with a loud voice, and yielded up His spirit.


Jesus said “I came to set fire on the earth”, but I have a baptism to be baptized with and how troubled I am till it is accomplished. So, Jesus came for a goal but the goal will take Him through a process, a testing process, a trying time that will try Him. He had been one with the Father but at that moment, carrying on Himself the sin of the world, it looked as if He could not find the Father. Now, don’t forget we started with Genesis 3 where Adam did what he was not supposed to do and reacted to God that it was the woman who He had given him. One would have assumed that in that state, he supposed to separate himself. But he did not. He came to a point where he was also distressed, dethroned. He could have come to a point where he could separate himself from his wife, but he did not. So, Jesus in this state had carried the sins of the world. Of course, He was sent by the Father for the same purpose, but in the process of carrying the sins of the world, the Father’s eyes could not behold Him. But the Bible didn’t not stop there.


There is a place we will go in Romans 11 but let us quickly go to Luke 24:1-7. The Bible says:

“Now on the first day of the week, very early in the morning, they, and certain other women with them, came to the tomb bringing the spices which they had prepared. 2 But they found the stone rolled away from the tomb…” At the point where Jesus said “Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani”, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?”, Bible says again He cried out and then gave up His spirit, and He was buried. Now, when the people that had followed Him came to the place where he was buried, Bible says they found out that the stone has been rolled away. So, the question is: Did the Father actually forsake Him? That is where we are going.


3 Then they went in and did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. 4 And it happened, as they were greatly perplexed about this, that behold, two men stood by them in shining garments. 5 Then, as they were afraid and bowed their faces to the earth, they said to them, “Why do you seek the living among the dead? 6 He is not here, but is risen! Remember how He spoke to you when He was still in Galilee, 7 saying, ‘The Son of Man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men, and be crucified, and the third day rise again.’”


Romans 8:11 says: “But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you.” Is it the Spirit different from the Spirit of the Father? It is the same Spirit of the Father. We already saw from the words of Jesus “I and the Father are one.” The Spirit is going to come because I will send Him and when He is coming, he will proceed from the father. And the Bible says that same Spirit raised Jesus from the dead. So, when Jesus got to a state where He was carrying the sins of the world, it looks like a woman getting to a point where everything the husband detests, she represents. She just finds herself doing things that her husband says ‘Don’t do’. And so, at that state that her husband is displeased with her, the husband has a responsibility to make a choice whether to continue in spite of this state or to say “I want to go my separate way.”


But what did God do? Jesus had carried the sins of the world, and He had died, but the Spirit of the Father came to raise Him there. Let us see another example of the prodigal son. He had gone on a prodigal living with the resources of the father. But the Bible says he came to his senses and came back to his father. The Bible says he was away off, the father saw him and ran to him. Do you see that?


Let us look at it. We know the father is not God, right? But Bible says the son came to himself. He had been in a dirty state, in error, but he came to himself. Haven come to himself, bible says the father went to meet him. It is possible to learn from there that the Spirit of the father was always with him even in that state. The influence of that spirit was so strong that he came to his consciousness to return home. So, the same spirit that raised him in that state, in that far country, was the same spirit that made the father to welcome him. So, we could understand that even though the boy had long gun, his spirit was longing for him.


What happened to Jesus? He was also buried. By the Spirit of the Father, He was raised up, by the same Spirit He was caught up into heaven. Do you understand? So, you can see that even though Jesus carried the sins of the world, it was not enough for the Father to let go or abandon. When you divorce your husband or your wife, you abandon the man or the woman. But the Father was not hopeless. The Father knew that the only thing he need was His Spirit to be released unto Him there and by that same Spirit of the Father in the son, he will come back to life. So, at what point will a man find his wife in error and know that the solution is not in separating, the solution is in pouring my spirit into her. Do we understand? But it is convenient for anyone to say “this woman is not behaving well, I let ger go.” The way the Holy Spirit is taking this message, the Holy Spirit is dealing with men and He is dealing with women separately. In this context I’m talking now, He is dealing with men.


They came to Jesus, “Moses said we can write certificate of divorce to our wives” and when Jesus was now talking, Jesus now said “except for sexual immorality.” You now asked, look at the weight of the sin that Jesus carried for the world, compare that to sexual immorality, which one was weightier? So, when your wife has committed any offence to you, what do you do? This is the Christ way, pour your spirit into her. Pour your spirit into her, let her have your same spirit. The Bible says, “it is the Spirit that quickens, the flesh profits nothing.” The word that I speak to you, they are Spirit and they are life.” So, if you pour your spirit into her, she is quickened after your order. So, the things you love, she begins to love it. The things you hate she begins to hate it, why? You share the same spirit. Many men and women are complaining that they are struggling in marriage because in reality, they have different spirits. The husband is a different person from the wife, they desire different things. Their taste bud is even different, the things the husband loves, the wife doesn’t love it. How can they ever become one? And the bible says in Amos 3:3 “Can two work together except they be agreed?”


So, towards bringing a man and his wife into full agreement, it must be by the same spirit. The Father and the Son are agreeing because of the Spirit. John the Baptist was declaring about Jesus, he said “The Father loves the Son, just like a man is supposed to love his wife, and He gives the spirit without measure.” So, it looks to me like the more I love my wife, the more I pour in my spirit into her. And because I love her, I should pour into her the fulness of my spirit. So, my love should prompt me into imparting her with my spirit. It will not come easy, it will not come quick or sudden, it takes time. That’s why the Bible says “they shall become one.” The bible says they shall become one flesh, right? Look at it literarily, can two people become one flesh? Is it going to be by surgery? So, what makes them one flesh is not a flesh matter, it’s a spiritual matter.


Do you know at that time Jesus was on earth? The Father and His essence were in heaven, but yet the Father and the Son were one by the spirit that was in both of them. So, the same Spirit with or in the Father is the same Spirit in the Son, so they became one. There was a time a voice came from heaven “this is my beloved Son in whom I am well pleased, hear Him.” Jesus went to the mountain and the Bible says “He returned in the power of the Spirit.”  When Jesus talks, He says “I can of myself do nothing. As I hear my Father…”, how did He hear the Father?  By the Spirit. Everything Jesus did on earth that gives you the God factor, it was the Spirit factor. And the Spirit factor is also the same Spirit that was in the Father, that was in the Son. You can be distanced physically from your wife, but you can become one if you share the same spirit, and the more you have the same spirit, the more impossible it is for two of you to separate.


So, even though you are trying to sit beside each other physically and touching yourselves with your lap, that is, two of you are sitting together. If you have different spirits, you will fight even as you are sitting together. Bishop Oyedepo gave an example some time ago, I think he was about to get married, himself and his wife went for counselling. So, the man was trying to tell them that “the tongue and the teeth, they fight too.”  You know Bishop is a very strong spirited. The man said to them, “you see, when two people sit together very close, there is a tendency for them to step on their toes. So, be ready to step on each other’s toes” So Bishop now said, “why should I step on her toes when I’m not blind?” You know it’s not easy to step on people’s toes, except you are not looking at it. You have to take your eyes off to step on their toes.  Yet we use that word, we have to step on each other’s toes.


So, the proximity of our flesh is not what binds us together. That we sleep on the same bed is not what makes us one, it is that we share the same spirit. The things that trouble you trouble me. The things that wake me up, wakes you up. My joy is your joy. My pain is your pain, that is it. So, until you are becoming one in your spirit no matter what you do in the flesh, it will never amount to much. Check marriages that are broken. Really, I’m sure we are familiar, marriages in the world, do you think Kingdom marriages can compete with worldly marriages in physical proximity; when those guys are even outside in public, they are kissing, they are hugging they are doing everything. So, you can never compete with them in physical proximity, that’s not what makes one, it is the spirit. You must have the same spirit.


Then the seventh angel sounded: And there were loud voices in heaven saying, “The kingdoms of this world have become the kingdoms of our Lord and of His Christ, and He shall reign forever and ever!”

                                                                                                                        Revelation 11:15


“The kingdoms of this world have become the kingdoms of our Lord and of His Christ.” The same Kingdom belonging to the Father and the Son. Do you see that? They even share inheritance or they share dominion; like the Father does not have a different Kingdom from the Son. The same kingdom that belongs to the Father is the same kingdom that belongs to the son. So, the things the wife has access to, the husband has. What the husband owns belongs to the wife, what the wife owns belongs to the husband. Is that the reality today? There are different bank accounts, the passwords are different, everything is different, “you can never withdraw one naira without my permission, in fact if you withdraw anything, you have borrowed it and you must return it.” You will see some wives dragging the neck of their husband “the money you borrowed last week you have not returned it to me.” We are talking about becoming one, it’s holistic.


The kingdoms of this world have become the kingdoms of our Lord and of His Christ, they own the kingdom together. That’s why Jesus said to God in John 17, “now glorify the Son that Son may glorify you.” He said, the glory that I had with you, I have given it back to you. I left the glory with you and I came to the earth, now I have finished the work you sent me to do, give me back the glory, so that we share the glory together. See the scriptures that says “it pleased the Father so that in Him Jesus, all the fulness should dwell.” Look at that place in Philippians 2 that says “God has given Him, a name that is above every other name and at the name of Jesus every kneel should bow of the things in heaven and of the things on earth, and every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”


So, the things that enthrones the Son, glorifies the Father. Whenever the Son is reigning the Father is glorified. Even when Jesus did miracles on the earth, the bible says “and the people praised God, they glorified God who has given such power to men”. Every time Jesus seems to be esteemed on the earth; the God the Father is esteemed. Every time glory comes to the Father, it comes to the Son. Every time glory comes to the Son, it comes to the Father, is that the reality in your own marriage? Or do you see your wife as a distinct entity who must never enjoy a glory that is close to yours? But in reality, you must have same glory, same honor, same riches, same blessing. If one is cursed, the other is cursed. If one is rich, the other is rich. If one is empowered, the other person is not a weak person. The same spirit. For the manifestation of the spirit is for the profit of all. The same spirit is manifesting in the man and is manifesting in his wife.





We will be seeing Jesus in the form of a wife. So, what does Jesus teach the wives towards making them one with their husbands, the first lesson is:


  1. I Do What Pleases Him


I do what pleases Him. And because I do that, we are one, we remain one. I never do anything that displease Him.


“And He who sent Me is with Me. The Father has not left Me alone, for I always do those things that please Him.”

John 8:29


The bible says, “and He who sent Me is with Me, this is Jesus talking, the Father has not left Me alone, for I always do those things that please Him. He who sent me is with me, my husband is with me. He sent me. He is with me. He has never left me alone, not in the morning or in the night. Why? I do those things that please Him. So, if a woman wants to actually remain one with her husband, the first tip is that you must do the things that please him. Don’t forget, he is the one that you share spirit with, not another. So, don’t be consumed with a desire to please another man. It is him you must please, that is how I see it. Anytime I talk to my wife, “God has made things easy for you, I’m the only person you are expected to study, study me very well.” You know, problem arises if God expects her to study every man that she knows. Then she is like “I’m just trying to understand this man and I’m now trying to understand another man”. There could be confusion. I’m the same person you are asked to study, so study me. Every time you spend to study me is an investment in our oneness because I’m your husband. It says “I do those things that please Him” that means I know the things that please him and I do them. You can’t do what you don’t know.



  1. I Glorify or Magnify Him


The second thing that Jesus said that has kept him one with the Father is that I glorify or magnify him.


“I have glorified You on the earth. I have finished the work which You have given Me to do. 5 And now, O Father, glorify Me together with Yourself, with the glory which I had with You before the world was.”

John 17:4-5


So, a woman must question, challenge herself or remind herself, the things that I’m doing, this choice I want to make, this decision I’m making, is it towards glorifying my husband or glorifying myself? Jesus emphatically said “anyone who does his own will, is seeking his own glory”. Jesus also makes us to know that He has not come to do His own will. He has come to do the will of Him who sent Him. He now says “I have glorified you on the earth, I have finished the work you asked me to do.” That’s to show us that if a woman wants to remain one, if you don’t want to be divided from your husband because, divorce as you must understand doesn’t happen in an instant, it takes time. Oneness does not happen in an instant, it takes time. Decisions makes you one, decisions break you.


So, if you want to make a decision, that will maintain your oneness with your husband, the second thing you must never forget is that as a woman your responsibility is to glorify Him. Remember the Bible says “the woman shouldn’t shave the hair. The hair is for the covering.” Then what does the Bible say about the man to the woman?


“For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but woman is the glory of man.”

1st Corinthians 11:7


What does that tell us? The woman glorifies the man. Sometimes, you see a man that looks rough, but when you see the wife, she looks so neat, so beautiful, everything is done well. So, every time people even think the man is a nobody, when they see his wife, they say No! He is a responsible man. I think he just has issues with packaging himself. But imagine a man that does not have a wife even if he is glorious in his house, once he appears without glory outside, people will treat him without glory. But when they see the wife, they treat the husband well. That’s what happened to Vashti and her husband, the King, she was expected to glorify her husband but she refused it, and because of it, she lost her throne. So, a woman must learn to glorify or magnify her husband. Apostle Paul says “I magnify my ministry.” So, if your husband is your ministry, magnify him.


  1. I Do Not Compete With Him


I do not compete with Him. That has kept us as one, I do not compete with the Father.


“Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, 7 but [made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.”


                                                                                                         Philippians 2: 5-8 


He has the form of God, but He chose not to be equal with Him, He submitted to Him. So, God said “it is not good for a man to be alone. I will make a helper comparable to Him, a suitable helper, comparable to Him”. So, we know the woman was taken from the man and that means the woman has the same form as the man. So, the nature of the man is the nature of the woman, they have equal nature. So, those who are campaigning for gender equality, the man and woman are equal. But the woman is expected by God to submit to her husband. When God was dealing with the issue after the fall of man, God said to the woman, “your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you” except you want to fight against that statement.


So, God has given him the responsibility to lead you.  So, you don’t have to compete, just submit. Jesus, is of the Father, but He has been sent by the Father to the earth. He has the same form of the Father, but He was sent by the Father to the earth. And being formed a man, He was obedient to the Father. Every time He was talking, He was saying “the Father is greater than I” but we mustn’t forget He and the Father, they are one, but He still says “the Father is greater than I and I can of myself do nothing. As I hear my Father, I judge”

When will a woman come to that point of not competing with her husband but complementing her husband? So, Jesus says “I do not compete with Him”


  1. I Share in His Spirit


I do, I share in His spirit. These two verses will help us to understand how Jesus shared the same spirit with husband, with the Father.


“But when the Helper comes, whom I shall send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who proceeds from the Father, He will testify of Me.”

John 15: 26

“Nevertheless, I tell you the truth. It is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you; but if I depart, I will send Him to you.”

John 16:7


  1. I Hallow (Respect Greatly) His Name


When Jesus was teaching His disciples how to pray, He says “our Father in heaven hallow be thy name”. The first thing that happens to a woman in Nigeria or on the earth or in most part of the earth, let us not conclude because there are some places that are funny, the man may be bearing the name of the wife, but in most places on the earth, once a woman marries, the name of the husband becomes her name. So, she becomes Mrs. the husband, right? So, imagine a woman that greatly disrespects that name of her husband, she has disrespected her own identity. So, what keeps them one, she hallows his name. She cannot do anything that will make my name to be brought to disrepute, because that will also bring her down. If you want people to treat you well as a woman, you must hallow the name of your husband. How do you treat his name, what does the name carry to you, do you see the name as nothing? You can’t become one if the name is nothing to you.


  1. I Reign With Him


“But you are those who have continued with Me in My trials. 29 And I bestow upon you a kingdom, just as My Father bestowed one upon Me, 30 that you may eat and drink at My table in My kingdom, and sit on thrones judging the twelve tribes of Israel.”

                                                                                                                      Luke 22: 28-30 


If you want to take this thing more direct; I don’t try to look for opportunity to reign outside Him, I reign with him. He, my husband bestowed kingdom on me. He bestowed influence, authority on me, I enjoy his influence. The things I possess are the things my husband has given to me. You cannot be using the things your husband gave you and he is angry with you, never done!  As a husband, you can’t give your wife something, and she is using it, and you are angry? Never! Every time she is actually using the thing you gave to her, you are happy, you are fulfilled.


But a woman that her husband has given her something but dumps it, and look for another, the husband will never trust such a woman. So, how can you become one when you cannot reign with him, you want to reign somewhere else. You want to rule somewhere else.

For instance, your husband has started a church but you don’t want to be part of that church, you will rather go and be a part of another church, or you go and start something else somewhere else too. “let him pastor his people, I will go and pastor my people.” Reign with him if you want to be one. There are many churches that post husband and wife separately. But the word of God is that reign with him.


  1. I Depend On, Care About and Trust Him


“Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. 2 And when He had fasted forty days and forty nights, afterward He was hungry. 3 Now when the tempter came to Him, he said, “If You are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread.” 4 But He answered and said, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.’” 5 Then the devil took Him up into the holy city, set Him on the pinnacle of the temple, 6 and said to Him, “If You are the Son of God, throw Yourself down. For it is written: ‘He shall give His angels charge over you, ’and, ‘In their hands they shall bear you up, lest you dash your foot against a stone.’” 7 Jesus said to him, “It is written again, ‘You shall not tempt the Lord your God.’” 8 Again, the devil took Him up on an exceedingly high mountain, and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. 9 And he said to Him, “All these things I will give You if You will fall down and worship me.” 10 Then Jesus said to him, “Away with you, Satan! For it is written, ‘You shall worship the Lord your God, and Him only you shall serve.’”

Matthew 4:1-10


It was the Spirit that led Jesus into the wilderness to be tempted by the tempter. And the Bible says “when the tempter came, he tempted Him on first ground, “turn stone to bread and Jesus said, “No, it’s only what God says that I’m going to live on.” He said to Jesus, “fall down, for God has said He will give His angels charge over you”, Jesus said, “No, I shall not tempt Him”. I don’t want to tempt my husband. The third one, the tempter says, “bow to me and then all these kingdoms, I will give to you”. Jesus said, “No, it is only God that I should worship, I should only adore my husband.” For those of us that have read that place in Proverbs either chapter 3 or 4, when King Solomon was writing about a man who is enraptured by the love of his wife.


“Drink water from your own cistern, and running water from your own well. Should your fountains be dispersed abroad, Streams of water in the streets? 20 why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman, and be embraced in the arms of a seductress?”

                                                                   Proverbs 5:15-16,20



Don’t be enraptured by an immoral woman. For Jesus, Satan was as an immoral woman. Submitting, worshipping Satan for Jesus was being enraptured. And Jesus said, it is only God that should be worshipped. So, a woman must tell herself I should only adore my husband. My affection, my emotion, my everything should only be directed at my husband. I depend, I care about and I trust him. So, if you want to really cement your oneness with your husband. If you want to have the same spirit, follow all these things. As husbands, remember, no matter what your wife may do to you, the answer is not to separate from her or to stay away from her, the answer is to pour yourself more into her. Let her share in your burden. She is doing what she is doing maybe because she doesn’t have your spirit. Share your spirit with her and the Lord will bless your marriage in Jesus name.




Thanks for the gift of your time, I am Gboyega ADEDEJI!

Feel free to share your thoughts or testimony in the comment box below. I promise to respond to them as soon as possible!

Word of Confession: (Optional)

Lord Jesus, I confess to you that I have sinned against the LORD God - in the rebellion of my heart, I have disappointed your expectations on my life. I have fallen from Your grace and followed wrong influences around me. Today, I retrace my steps back to you - and I ask that in your mercy you accept me as your son and give to me (again) the promise of the Father - the Holy Spirit. Lord Jesus, please, come and make my heart your home, and from there rule in the affairs of all men. In Jesus Name I have prayed.


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If you take a careful look at a LADDER, you would notice the sacrificial work of GUIDING people up. If your MARRIAGE must become a lift up for others, you and your SPOUSE must come together with lines joining you at EVERY point on every matter. DISAGREABLE couple can hardly lift anybody up beyond their LEVEL of AGREEMENT and unity.

Published: Gboyega Adedeji | Friday 21st August 2020

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