In this piece, we are going to be considering what has been titled: The Making of a Comparable Helper, and I want us to start from the book of Genesis 1:26-28, and then we will go to Genesis 2:7. These pages of the Bible, we can never read them enough. In Genesis 1:26, the Bible says: “Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image…” Don’t forget, our focus is on the making of a comparable helper. So, it is even important that we look at how God began by making man. Although, our goal is that of a comparable helper, how such a person is made, we want to see how God also began the making. “Let Us make man in Our image according to Our likeness …” Now, we are seeing the intention of God, we don’t just want to make man anyhow. That man, that new being, that new creature would be according to our likeness. So, let us continue.

 

Now let us read further:

“…let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” So, God created man in His own image; in the image of God, He created him; male and female He created them. Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

 

May the Lord bless the reading of His word in our hearts in Jesus’ name. Having made man, God said, “Have dominion.” Now, that was like the summary. Again, we were exposed to the nitty-gritty of that statement, “have dominion.” Bible says God said “be fruitful” because dominion does not fall down like ripe pawpaw, it is built on a foundation. It rests on a platform, “Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, and subdue it!” The question is, is it possible for a man to do all these without any kind of help? Because, that word “subdue” is a serious word. It is even difficult to be fruitful on your own. It is challenging to multiply yourself all by yourself. And how can only you fill the whole earth? That presupposes that you can’t be an Island, and still fill the whole earth. And He now said, “Subdue the earth.” You require help.

 

Let’s move to Genesis chapter 2:7. The Bible says: “And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.” Again, we are taken through a journey of how God made man. When God wanted to begin the process of making man, God went straight to the earth, took some portion of the earth, and with what He took from the earth, He made a man. Especially we will say, He made the body of man. Having made the body, He released His breath into the body He made from the dust, and what happens was that there was an emergence of a creature called man, a spirit that dwells in an earthen vessel or an earthen material, as you would love to call it.

 

Now, when we look at what happened, especially in verse 15, something instructive came. Verse 15 says: “then the Lord God took the man…” the man that He had formed, haven took some portion of the earth, the man that He has formed and He has released His Spirit into, the Bible says God took that man that was now ready to fulfill His mandate on the earth, God took that man and put him in the Garden of Eden to tend and keep it. And so, when you ask: what is the purpose of man on the earth? Man is given the purpose of tending and keeping the garden that the Lord has put him. He (man) is not the creator of the garden, but he was given the responsibility to tend and to keep it. We should not forget that the garden was situated East of Eden, and Eden was a location on the earth.

 

So, when you look on the larger scope you see the earth, but when you zoom in, you see Eden. And when you come closer, you see the garden, and when you come much closer, you will see man who tends and keep the garden. As if that was all, and that nothing else happened, but that was not all, something else happened. And the Lord God says in verse 18 that, “And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Imagine that we pause here, and the Lord God says, “It is not good that man should be alone.” And so, God left. And when God was saying this, it is either man heard it, or the Holy Spirit gave to Moses, or God said it in the Spirit. “It is not good for man to be alone”, and God left. Imagine God coming to Adam in the hot afternoon, and when He arrived, He met Adam sleeping and snoring, and He knocked, “Adam!” And Adam suddenly woke up and he asked God, “Please, have a sit, could I get you some water?” And God is like asking, why are you sleeping in the afternoon? And Adam answered the Lord, “I am just lonely, I am bored, I am just lonely.” And God said unto him, “This your loneness is a problem; indeed, it is not good for you to be alone.”

 

Three weeks’ time, same thing repeated, what would you call God in the midst of all that who only come to see problem, sympathized with Adam but provided no solution to the problem? It is either we see Him as a person who loves to make mockery of somebody; someone who loves to complain about a problem, but does not have interest in fixing the problem. But that is not God, He only made the observation, complain once, and that was it. The Bible says, the Lord God Said, “It is not good that man should be alone” I will make him a helper comparable to him.” And God told Himself, I will not sit-down to just watch over this problem to linger in the life of the man that I have made. I will make for him, just as I have made him that is currently alone, a helper comparable to him.

 

But do we expect God to make the helper in a manner that is different from how the man was made? God said, “I want to make a helper for this man, and the helper will be comparable to him.”  If God made a product and kept the mold somewhere, and make another product and kept the mold somewhere; and at another time, He said He would make another product, but I would use the first mold to make the third thing, would He use the second mold to produce it? Or would he scatter everything and start all over again? Especially when He had said, “I want to make the third item like the first, so that when you look at the third product, it is just as the first in appearance?” So, the Lord said, “I will make him a helper comparable to him.” That makes me to understand that the making of the woman must be just same as the making of the man, if the woman will be able to fulfil the purpose of her making. Since this helper will be comparable to him: you can only compare two things when there share similarities.

 

When God said, “I will make him a helper”, the question is how did the God make the man? So, that takes us back to Genesis 2:7, but before we read that verse, let us quickly read verse 21-22 of the same chapter that would give us what we will need to connect with verse 7. The Bible says: “And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He ^[made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.”  Do we still remember what happened in Genesis 2:8 and 15? The Bible says: “The Lord God planted a garden eastward in Eden, and there He put the man whom He had formed”.  So, when God was done forming the man, God brought the man to the garden. And the Lord said to him, “This Garden I have brought you to, tend it, and keep it.” When God was done forming the woman, see what God did, “the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.”

 

So, while the man was seemingly, made for the garden, the woman was made for the man of the garden. As soon as God was done making the man, God took him, get up from where I have made you; I am taking you to your place of relevance, to your place of authority, to your place of dominion; come to the garden that I have made for you — I created the garden, I made it, perhaps, before you were made. Now that you have been made, created and perfected, now come into your inheritance. Come into the place where you will flourish. That was what happened to Adam. Now, when God was done making the woman, let’s step away from how God did now, when God was done making the woman, what did He do? The Bible didn’t give us the location of her making, her background isn’t important, but that God is able to bring her to the man that He has created her for.

 

So, let me reiterate that again. While the man was made for the garden — the garden was in Eden, and Eden was on the earth — the woman was made for the man. Do we see what has happened? Now, let us look again at Genesis 2:7 and let us mix it with chapter 2:21 and see the similarities. In Genesis 2:7, the Bible says, “And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.” Regardless of the name of the man, both the rich, and the poor, the Bible says, all are formed from the dust of the earth.

 

After man is formed, he began to function, but function as what and how and in what manner? He began to function in the garden for that God has put him there for. Talking about placement, he began to tend, and to keep the garden. But how did God start? God started by taking some particles from the ground; the top layer of the earth. And from it, God formed the body. Having form the body, the body was not yet glorified, the body required the breath of life, the spirit of life. And having received that, the body changed form into a living state. We can say all the dross was taken away; the body was then ready to fulfill purpose.

 

In Genesis chapter 2:21, when it was time for a helper, especially a comparable one to that man, a comparable helper was needed for the man, see what God did: God made the man to sleep, in fact, he slept so well that he had no knowledge of what God did. The Bible says, “And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.” When the woman was brought to the man in verse 23; the man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of man.” If we remember what happened in Genesis chapter 2:7, man also was taken from the ground. A part of the earth was used to form the man, and when it was time to make the woman, a part of the man was used to make the woman.

 

Now, I tried to search out for the word ‘Rib’, at least, let’s try to look at the surface meaning of the word, we don’t need the etymology of it. Scientifically, there are two key things that are said of RIBs that are relevant for this discussion. The ribs do 2 things: protecting the vital organs of the body; what is inside — so vital to the body. These organs need not to be touched; nobody must touch the heart, nobody must touch the kidneys, etc. These vital organs are protected by the ribs. And the second one is supporting breathing process.  The ribs provide enough space for the lung to receive the breath of life. In the cause of touching our body, nobody can go beyond the ribs. So, if you remove the rib, there could be a chance for the lungs not to have enough space for breathing. And the consequences of this is that a man may die in the process. And other preacher said, “In forming woman for the man, God deemed it necessary to take the rib, because the human rib has the capacity to reproduce itself much more than any other bone in the body.”

 

From the 2 functions of the ribs to the body, let’s take one word each from the 2 functions: protecting the vital organs and number two, supporting the breathing process. When God wanted to make man, Bible says God took dust of the earth, and from the dust, God formed man, then the Lord said to man, “The ground where I have taken you, you must henceforth, commit yourself to it with the responsibility of tending it and keeping it.” You were nobody until I went to the earth, took some particles out of it, and I made you with it. Although, my breath is in you, but without a container to hold my breath, you wouldn’t be there. This is what you will live for, you will be tending the earth, and you will be keeping it. What God said to Adam in the garden, God is saying that to us today, even though, we are not in any physical garden: the responsibility of tending and keeping the earth.

 

Now let us look at the woman. Haven made the woman, and the man needed help, God took from his body a portion which was hitherto taken from the ground. And from that portion God made the woman, and God told the woman, let me take you from where you are formed to where you will function. And the Bible says, “And God brought her to the man.” Even though, God didn’t specifically mention her responsibility, if we look at the first statement: a comparable helper, and we look at the strategic nature of the material that was used to make her: a support system and a protector; we can therefore say conclude that, the same thing that the Lord said to the man: “Tend and keep the garden”, so that the Lord does not commit tautology — he did not repeat Himself — but that is same thing that God intended for the woman.

 

As man was made from the ground and he has the responsibility of tending and keeping the ground, so also the woman has the responsibility to tend her husband, and to keep her husband. When I was yet to be married, God gave me a meaning for the acronym “RIB” as it concerns marriage. The acronym “RIB” stands for “RIGHT IN BED.” It might sound funny but that was the revelation I got before I got married. God says it categorically, every other woman is wrong in bed with you. In Hebrews chapter 13:4, the Bible says, “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”  If the marital bed must not be defiled, it then means that, there is somebody that is right for your bed, and somebody is wrong for it. That is my acronym and this is not to cancel every explanation of support system.

 

Now, let us go back to Our Support System and Protection. As ribs protect the vital organs and support the life of the man, so also is the woman created by God as a comparable helper in two major matters in the life of the man: she is expected to act as a protector of the man, and as a support system for the man — the woman was created to tend the man and to keep the man. As God gave the responsibility of tending and keeping the earth to every man, God has in turn given the responsibility of tending and keeping every man to his own wife.  You cannot say a man’s wife is being over protective over her own husband; she is only being responsible. So, when God looks at a woman, God is asking: How are you supporting him? How are you making sure that life is not being squeezed out of him? How are you making sure he can live on? How are you making sure, that he is guarded? Because the other word for tending is cultivating and guarding. The man has the responsibility of cultivating and guarding the earth, while the woman has the responsibility of cultivating and guarding the man.

 

Now, let us leave the Scripture now just for a few seconds. Take for instance, in our cotemporary days, it has been said that, “Women are relationship oriented, while men are work oriented.” Woman was made for the man, while the man was created to work the earth. Man may on a daily basis be consumed by his own work and not be aware of his relationship if he is not helped. So, it is possible for a man not to understand love until when he is married, or when he is about to get married. Many men who go for marital counselling before marriage, it has been observed over time that, it is when many men are seated before the marriage counsellors that they come to know much about some crucial issues on relationship.

 

The man understands relationship more in marriage, while the woman understands work in marriage. The work as used in this context does not mean job — It implies purpose; something you do for a greater course; things you do that you find fulfillment in. If a woman will enjoy that work, it is because she has found it in her marriage when she begins to live with her husband. Indirectly, the man was created to help the earth; the earth was on its own, in need of tending and keeping, so a man was made to help the earth as a keeper, a cultivator, and tender. Thereafter, the woman was made and brought to the man; she has come to help the man — she has come to cultivate a man’s life, she has come to guard him. If a man is not looking too good before marriage, after marriage, things will change. All things being equal, it is not possible for a responsible man who marries a responsible woman to become ugly in marriage. The reality we have is that, after wedding, when others look at wedding pictures in the future, they will also say, “We thank God for your wife, you have changed; you are looking nourished.” It could even be that the man has no good sense of color combination, but after marriage, the wife makes good choice of his dressing for him. Thank God for your wife; she cultivates the man.

 

Nevertheless, it is not all women that are skillful in the act of cultivation; not every woman is a good cultivator, same way, not all men are good keepers or good tenders. To tend means to care for something, or to have charge over something.  The man has the responsibility of having charge over the earth: nothing comes into the earth without the approval, authorization of the man. That is the measure that the woman is also expected to shield her own husband. But if the woman has evil intention, the man will be shielded from good. What some women use for evil, many women are using it for good. For instance, if a woman does not want you to have a space into her marriage, you can never get it no matter how small. Even if the man wants you, as long as the woman does not want you, there is no space. It is not just about telling yourself; I am a woman, I will just cultivate, I will just guard. But the right thing to do is asking the question, how will I guard, how will I cultivate? The responsibility is on me, the onus is on me, as a woman, to guard effectively, and to cultivate effectively.

 

Do we understand? So, when we are looking at the making of a woman; it is similar to we looking at the making of a protector and cultivator. You cannot be one and not be the other, and expect to succeed in your marriage. You won’t be able to help him effectively, if you are skewed on one side. Let it not be said of you, that, “Me, I can only protect my husband, and don’t know how to cultivate him.” No! He has the responsibility for the earth, while you have the responsibility for him. Let’s look at Proverbs chapter 31, from verse10 to the end:

 

From this scripture we can see the picture of an excellent wife, a model wife; she is able to do so much, and the Bible says, her husband is known at the gate of the city where he sits with the elders. So, the man is conscious of the society, the man is thinking about the earth.  He wants to make impact on the earth; to leave a mark — his name — on the sand of time. He wants to solve the societal problems, but there are problems in his house, there are problems in his life; if those things are not attended to by a virtuous woman (his wife), the problems will remain even though he is solving societal problems. So, when we see a politician who has series of issues and problems in his life, we should not assume why is he not fixing the problems in his life, because he cannot fix all the problems of his life; he is only a man in need of help.

 

Let me show you how these politicians can confuse themselves. How do we see things that belong to everybody, public goods like roads, market and the likes, do will clean them the way we clean our rooms? We just believe it is for everybody, except the community hire people to do it, the cleaning, everyone is less concerned.  That is exactly how the lives of the politicians are like. He now makes his life like a community; he has many wives, he has many helpers, but the helps are not defined. The moment he sees a lady that is beautiful, he says, “Come into my life”. But is it come and beautify the life or to come and be dressing it? The woman just comes in, and she is busy looking beautiful, wearing jewelries, and that has nothing to do with fixing the problems and issues in the life of the man. The woman is just busy looking good.

 

Help must be defined, perhaps, when one of the wives of the man, or politician wants to take initiative or responsibility of fixing the man’s problems, the rest wives will start complaining that the woman is too protective or possessive (eyeservice). The women would even accuse the responsible saying, “There might be something she wants from our husband.” But in an ideal state when a man has a defined helper, the woman would take charge, and see the man as her responsibility in spite, or despite what anyone might think about what she does. “I careless about what you think, all I do is to guard him, and I will do anything to protect him from falling down or messed up; making mistakes because he is my cup of tea.” And the woman would say, “The ways he goes about trying to fix other people’s problems both in the society and in the church, I will help him, because I have been created for him.” 

 

When you see a woman who rises up to pray for her husband, it is not because she is pastor, but that is what she sees her husband doing for others. He is praying for others, and God is answering him, “Let me pray for him, God will hear and answer me too”. The marriages of men that will see that are succeeding, their wives are doing great things that we don’t see. They make sure the domestic affair is on point, both the spiritual and emotional affairs of their husband are on point. They leave no chance or room anywhere for anyone to help. Since help is help, if any woman peradventure leaves any room for anyone to come in, take for instance, a man who works in the office, and there is a particular woman in that office who thought the man needs help, and she takes it upon her to help to give out since help is help. And she walked up to the man whom the wife had left his life vacant. He would demand, “Sir, there was his rice I brought from home, if you wouldn’t mind, should I serve you some?” The strange woman might not say it out, but down in her heart, she would be saying, “I perceived your wife is an irresponsible woman, she did not think you need food before you came to the office”. “Sir, there is a very delicious rice!” And the man would say, “No problem, bring it.”

 

So, the woman is being helped by another woman in the place of food for the belly, and the belly for the food. And the man will fall for the belly, and also fall for the food. So, what happened? If you were a good judge, who would you blame? You blame the helper, because if she had occupied, there would be space for another woman. Should you be telling yourself, hope I am not waiting for too long as a single to be married, ideally, the question ought to be, hope I am getting all the orientations, or the preparation that I need to be equipped with so that I don’t mess up anything that the Lord gives? I went to greet a friend of mine some years ago, there was a tenant in the same compound with my friend, who’s a visitor (a relative) came to stay with. I later learnt that the visitor came to be with the neighbor of my friend out of a failed marriage, not more than 3 months after wedding.  So, we got into the discussion of what could make a woman to divorce her husband in 3 months of marriage.

 

So, the marriage that others are living with for 7 years without crashing down, others are struggling with it for less than a week. Sometimes, we take it for granted that while we are married, many people are getting out of marriage. And the things we are doing well, they are doing poorly; and it is showing. You can only cover it for a season, you can’t cover it forever. If you are failing in your responsibility to help your husband as a support system, making sure that he is reinvigorated, making sure that he is refreshed day by day, making sure he is guarded like city that has wall. What will happen to a city without walls? Enemies will come in, your wife is like the wall that guards your life, just anyone can’t come in. Do we understand? Let us reflect a bit. Have you seen a business man anywhere that would allow just anybody to trample on his company? It is not done anywhere.  

 

So, if people are not willing to share their businesses like that, then we have to learn to securely, shield our marriages. How comes women are allowing others to share their own husband? So, women, possess your possession. Every woman is expected to possess her possession. If you look at Proverbs chapter 31, you will see a woman that possess her possession. That is why both the husband and the children rose up to praise her, because everything that concerns the life and the fabric of the marriage, and the family, is taken care by the woman. And the husband is really time able or sufficient to go out. Let there be real division of labor, when one person is busy with some, let another be busy with something else. But a situation when a man that is supposed to be fixing the problem of other people, the problem of the societies, managing the earth, is still the person that is managing the domestic affairs. That would be a problem.

 

The responsibility placed on the woman by God may be challenging, but God expected every one of us to be faithful in its responsibility. Now, since the working is challenging, it then requires that we keep learning from the grand helper. The woman is meant to be a help to her own husband just as the husband is a help to the earth. There is also a helper whose job is to help the woman, the man, and everybody; the Holy Spirit. Let’s read John chapter 14 from verse 15:18; the Bible says: “If you love Me, keep My commandments. And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper…” For those of us that understands English, another helper means that there was a helper before. Who was the helper before the another? Christ Jesus. Let us read further: “that He may abide with you forever— the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you. I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you.”

 

If the helper is going to abide with men forever, it means that the helper will be with me 365 days of the year and 24/7, that is it. I don’t know of any believer that will want to be without the Holy Spirit for an hour. Can you on your own tell the Holy Spirit that, “I want to be off today, no need of help?” Will the person even come back alive? This is it, the help that the Holy Spirit provides to us, we need it constituently; every time, every day. The Bible gives us the idea on how the Holy Spirit helps; it says, “the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you”.

 

Since the women have been created to help the man, it means that other women cannot know you, but your wife knows you. Why? Because she is with you. She will be in you. Are you willing to receive her into you? Can we now see the process that the Holy Spirit gives, two sided or phases? The Holy Spirit comes to help a ma by being with him. Adam said, “The woman you gave to be with me…” That is the first phase. The second phase is the woman that you give to be in me. So, everywhere I go, she is with me, in my heart, I carry her everywhere.

It takes time. Now, by the time a woman is with a man, they are still two, meanwhile, by the time the same woman is in the man, they become one flesh. They become one flesh to the point that, they have same mind, same spirit, same burden, same passion, and same success.

 

They share their labor, they share their reward, they sleep together, they keep warm together, they walk together, so that when one falls, the other will be there to raise him/her up. So, if a woman feels overwhelmed by the responsibilities of keeping and tending her husband, she should go to the Holy Spirit, and ask the Holy Spirit, how do you do your job? How do you play your role in my life, because I am supposed to play same role in the life of my husband? I am supposed to be with him so that anytime he turns, he sees me. There is a popular saying that says, “Beside every successful man, there is a successful woman.” Every woman is meant to be beside her own husband, at the front, and behind her husband; 360-degree support system for him. You provide 360-degree protection for him. In every kind that you can imagine.

 

So, as you are developing yourself as good supporter per excellence, you are also developing yourself as a good protector per excellence. My prayer is that God will help us. The Holy Spirit can only help us perfectly and accurately because He is with us and in us. Imagine if the Holy Spirit to be in Kano State, Nigeria, and I am in Abuja, and the Holy Spirit is asking me on phone call, to know those things I am planning to do today, or if I will probably go out today, how effective do you thing such help could be? Of course, this is not how the Holy Spirit has been dealing with us; He is a very present help in the time of need. You need Him to be there with you. So, can that be said of a woman that wants to be effective, that every time your husband needs you, you are available? Finds you there murmuring or talking about irrelevances, no! Finds you there supporting his life, finds you there protecting him, even as the Holy Spirit opens you up to your roles in his life.

 

I pray that the Lord will help us as we do in Jesus; name. It is not good for a man to be alone, that was what we considered in the first leg of this piece. But the helper that will make sure he is not alone must be made. And as soon as the helper is made, she is brought to him she has been made for. I don’t know how many women can receive this: Somebody says stand up from where you are, go to the forest that is between Ilesha and Akure in the Southern part of Nigeria and be living there alone, start a village by yourself and don’t join any existing village. Can you, do it, will you go? Let us even assume it is God that says it now, can you go? I actually expect no woman to go, I expect some men to go anyways. Do you know why I expect so? It is in the making of the man. But when he now gets there, he could complain a bit, but he would go. But a woman, I don’t think so because she has not been made like that. But if God has told her husband to go, the woman can follow her husband there, I don’t know if you understand.

 

But for that kind of responsibility for a woman, she would require her husband to be beside her to help. I pray that God will help us. They said women are relationship oriented, and men are work oriented. But the work of a woman is her relationship, especially her relationship with her husband, making sure that life is not squeezed out of her husband, how to make sure she makes him maintain perspective, irrespective of his busy schedule. And I pray that as we do this as women, the Lord Himself will bless us and the name of the Lord will be glorified on earth in Jesus’ name.

 

Thanks for the gift of your time, I am Gboyega ADEDEJI!

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