Let me begin by introducing to us what family leadership is, peradventure there are one or two persons out there who aren’t familiar with this aspect of leadership yet or who may not have seen it from this angle I am bringing our way today. Family leadership primarily occurs in an atmosphere where parents (the father and mother) model excellent values for their children in their upbringing. In other words, the father and mother become the compass for good behavior for their children in moral and character development.

 

You would agree with me that one of the biggest challenges facing many societies across the world today is the gradual degradation of excellent value system. When a society or a people jettison their value system, what you would have is a society that is heading towards moral decadence. Such a society then becomes a society of “anything goes.” Most times, society begins to lose its value system when families are not getting something right. The failures we see in many societies today are the failures of many families because the family is a subunit of the society. A popular Greek philosopher once wrote that “the family is nature's established association for the supply of mankind's everyday wants.”

 

So, an error of a single family for example, can have a negative consequence on an entire society or nation, and that is how strong the nexus between families and societies is. In Joshua 7, a man named Achan had stolen against the commandment of God, and the consequences of his actions was visited on the entire nation of Israel. In Joshua 7:10-11, the Bible says: “So the Lord said to Joshua: “Get up! Why do you lie thus on your face? ¹¹ Israel has sinned, and they have also transgressed My covenant which I commanded them. For they have even taken some of the accursed things, and have both stolen and deceived; and they have also put it among their own stuff.”

 

But was it an entire nation of Israel that sinned? The answer is no. It was the failure of just one man. Joshua 7:16-21 showed us:

 

“So, Joshua rose early in the morning and brought Israel by their tribes, and the tribe of Judah was taken. ¹⁷ He brought the clan of Judah, and he took the family of the Zarhites; and he brought the family of the Zarhites man by man, and Zabdi was taken. ¹⁸ Then he brought his household man by man, and Achan the son of Carmi, the son of Zabdi, the son of Zerah, of the tribe of Judah, was taken. ¹⁹ Now Joshua said to Achan, “My son, I beg you, give glory to the Lord God of Israel, and make confession to Him, and tell me now what you have done; do not hide it from me.” ²⁰ And Achan answered Joshua and said, “Indeed I have sinned against the Lord God of Israel, and this is what I have done: ²¹ When I saw among the spoils a beautiful Babylonian garment, two hundred shekels of silver, and a wedge of gold weighing fifty shekels, I coveted them and took them. And there they are, hidden in the earth in the midst of my tent, with the silver under it.”

 

I believe we know the rest of the history. Achan and his entire family needed to pay for this error with their lives simply because a man had touched the accursed thing. So, what have I been trying to show us? The strong connection between families and societies and if families would get it right, the society also would become a better place for each and every one of us and the entire world would know peace in the long run.

 

So, what then is The Faultless Structure of An Excellent Family Leadership? Let us find out in the book of Colossians 3:18-21 (TPT). The Bible says: “Let every wife be supportive and tenderly devoted to her husband, for this is a beautiful illustration of our devotion to Christ. ¹⁹ Let every husband be filled with cherishing love for his wife and never be insensitive toward her.²⁰ Let the children respect and pay attention to their parents in everything for this pleases our Lord Jesus. ²¹ And fathers, don’t have unrealistic expectations for your children or else they may become discouraged.”

 

In these verses of the Bible, there are four basic things that we can point out that aides an excellent family leadership. Number one: It talks about an unflinching support and devotion from the wife to her own husband. The reason why the woman came into the man’s life in the first place is so that she could help him. Genesis 2:18 (AMP) says: “Now the Lord God said, “It is not good (beneficial) for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper [one who balances him—a counterpart who is] suitable and complementary for him.” So, for the woman, your responsibility for balancing or complementing your husband is evidenced in your support for him. When you do this, the family leadership is intact and on the right footing.

 

Number two: It talks about the husband loving his wife in the most astounding way and not being insensitive toward her. As the man, you aren’t created to go through life and fulfill purpose alone. So that the challenges wouldn’t be too overwhelming for you, God brought the woman into your life to support you. So, the more you unleash your love on the woman, the more you get the needed support and help that you need to succeed in life and destiny.

 

Number three: It talks about children paying attention to their parents in everything because the Lord is pleased with such disposition. If parents bring up their children in the way of the Lord, it would almost be impossible for them to depart from that way. The word of God would become both the Spiritual and moral compass that they would follow to become all that God has destined them to be. Proverbs 4:20-22 says:

 

My son, give attention to my words;
Incline your ear to my sayings.
²¹ Do not let them depart from your eyes;
Keep them in the midst of your heart;
²² For they are life to those who find them,
And health to all their flesh.

 

And Number four: It talks about fathers not having some unrealistic expectations for their children or else they may be discouraged. Many parents today place some unholy demands on their children which eventually don’t augur well with God’s plans and purposes for their lives. Such unrealistic expectations could bring about discouragements in the hearts of those children. Parents must learn when and when not to place demands on their wards so that they can grow in grace and in the knowledge of God.

 

Now, the interplay of these four things bring about excellent family leadership. A family that would become a model family in the society must have all these four things properly mixed together towards an excellent outcome.

 

I believe you have learnt something!

Thanks for the gift of your time, I am Obayomi Abiola Benjamin!

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