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Maximizing Your Spouse
Stats: 10,299 words / Reading Time: 51.50 mins

Published: Saturday 12th September 2020

Maximizing Your Spouse 578

Maximizing Your Spouse's Potentials In Marriage Through Christ Jesus

The ABC of Marriage for The Married!


Listen To Podcast: Maximizing Your Spouse's Potentials In Marriage Through Christ Jesus

Today we are looking at something that is important for the married people and important for those who are intending to get married. In a month where our focus and the focus of the Holy Spirit upon us is towards our marriages, we are considering Maximizing Your Spouses’ Potential in Marriage Through Christ Jesus. Now, when two people form an organization that is a business organization, they call it partnership and no matter the duration of the partnership, whatever is done by the two is considered efforts or activities within the partnership. So, the partnership will start in 2020 and not stop even until 2080. Now, while the year of the partnership remains, activities are conducted, decisions are made. All those decisions, irrespective of the magnitude, they are within the partnership.

 

When we are saying marriage, we are not talking about your bedroom or your living room, or the four corners of your house. You must understand that we began that thought by looking at partnership, two or more people coming together to work together in a business organization. Now, when you are looking at marriage as we have been told, it is about a union between a man and his wife, a woman. And so, whatever they do, wherever they are, as long as what they do is done by either or both of them, it is called efforts within the marriage. So, one of them could be somewhere and the other somewhere else, as long as they are working together towards establishing the purpose of God in their lives together, they are in the marriage.

 

So, when we are considering Maximizing Your Spouses’ Potential, our goal is not the four corners of your room, our vision is not even your bedroom or your house. We are simply considering the two of you, wherever you find yourself, and whatever you find yourself doing. Do you understand that? Because when you want to be sincere with ourselves in marriage, we come to understand that even though my wife could be or my husband could be okay in the house, he is not okay in his office or in his farm. When he is ministering, he is not okay. There are certain things in his life that are yet not perfected or ready in him. Am I supposed to keep quiet or anxious or do something about his imperfections? These are the things we are looking at, so that the entire marriage will be fruitful, because partly, we are looking at fruitfulness.

 

You cannot have fruitfulness in marriage, biologically, when the man and his wife are not walking together. And so, a man and a woman coming together in what is called intercourse, culminate eventually into biological fruitfulness. Now, fruitfulness is beyond you and your wife or husband having children that you can call your own and cuddle. It goes beyond that. Whatever the two of you are able to produce together is what we sum as fruitfulness. So, I am sure we have seen in the Bible when we hear “the fruit of the lips, the fruit of the mouth, the fruit of the mind and the fruit of the womb.” You will notice that every time we talk about the fruit of the womb, it is not just said “the fruit or the womb”, you have to combine them.

 

So, while we have the fruit of the womb, we have the fruit of the mind, we have the fruit of the lips and I am sure you have the fruit of your hands and that of your legs too. Your entire personality or entirety when combined together with that of your spouse, is able to produce something. What is produced from your walking together or your unity is what we call fruits. When you are in that state of producing fruits, we say you are “fruitful.” And so, how do we ensure that marriages go beyond the fruit of the womb, how do we ensure that our spouses have the ability to do much more than the things they are doing in the room? That is our goal!

 

Now let us go to John 2 so that we have a scriptural foundation for our consideration, and we will start our reading from verse 1. This chapter has been read by us countless times, but the Lord wants to show us something else from what we are familiar with. The Bible says: “On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee”, and so, this connects us the subject matter because we are looking at marriage and we are being exposed in this verse to a wedding, because there can never be a real marriage without a wedding. There must be some kind of wedding which marks the beginning of the marriage.

 

You know, if you want to start a business partnership, there must be a signing of an agreement. When it comes to marriage, there must be a wedding where the man, the woman and their God connects the union together. So, there must be a God connecting the man to the woman, and then we have a marriage. Now, there was an instance in the Bible and we want to learn from it.

 

On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. 2 Now both Jesus and His disciples were invited to the wedding. 3 And when they ran out of wine, the mother of Jesus said to Him, “They have no wine.” 4 Jesus said to her, “Woman, what does your concern have to do with Me? My hour has not yet come.” 5 His mother said to the servants, “Whatever He says to you, do it.”

 

Now, if we pause here and go back to verse 3, there is something that we must not miss. The Bible says And when they ran out of wine, which means at the beginning, there was wine. When the wedding began properly, everything that the host expected the guest to require or to enjoy, they provided, to the best of their abilities and their resources, they made everything available. But the Bible says when their wine ran out, to show us something that happened not immediately, but eventually. And so, the process has started, how long, we don’t know. So, there was a time that there was wine, everyone was enjoying, everything that they desire, they were getting it. But at a point in time, the wine ran out. And one thing we must not forget, Jesus said to His mother “What does your concern has to do with mine?

 

So, it means that Mary the mother of Jesus, was concerned. You cannot be concerned if the matter is not a serious matter. Now, nobody is concerned that I am standing here because you just believe that I should not fall down, right? But if I start to do gymnastics, somebody might be concerned, and the reason is because that there are chances that I might fall down. Do you understand? So, Jesus’ mother was concerned because there was a serious problem. Shame was looming. There was disunity looming, crisis was looming, because if the wine should run out, there would be issues, there will not have to be some rationalization so to say and some might not even get any in the long run.

 

But before that, there would be shame. So that discord or disunity and shame will not appear in that wedding, Jesus was called unto. So, there wouldn’t be any need for Jesus if not that there was an imminent shame and danger coming up. Do we understand that? So, let us see verse 6. As soon as the mother of Jesus gave that standing order, let us now see what happens. “Now there were set there six waterpots of stone, according to the manner of purification of the Jews, containing twenty or thirty gallons apiece.” Now, for many of us that have read this, when we got there, we just told ourselves “Okay, there was a need for wine and then Jesus realized that there were six waterpots of stones somewhere, and then He decided to use what was inside it.” That was not what actually happened because the Bible showed us the size of what was made available. The Bible didn’t tell us that there was something inside it. It only showed us the capacity of each pots.

 

So, the Bible showed us the size of the drum, but this time around, it is not made up of rubber but stone and their purpose were to contain water for purification of the Jews. So, when the Jews gather, they are expected to clean themselves, wash their hands, make sure they remain clean while they are enjoying. Even thought that was what was expected, the Bible did not show us that they had water to clean themselves. Now let us see what is next in verse 7. The Bible had shown us earlier that there was an available resource but empty.

 

Jesus said to them, “Fill the waterpots with water.” How can you possibly fill something that is filled up? That means the pots were not full, it only has potential and capacity but not properly utilized. And that is something we must meditate on. So, He told them, “fill the waterpots with water” and the Bible says And they filled them up to the brim.You know, the Bible does not give the time factor in everything that you read, but you must be smart enough to know that if a drum has the capacity to contain eighty to one hundred liters, how long will it take to fill up six of them? It took time. Now, before there was a need for wine at the occasion, there was also a time factor.

 

People have been enjoying and doing their things; yet, there was not enough wine to finish the whole ceremony. And so, when the need arose for more wine and Jesus' attention was called to it; that is, Jesus was invited, not to the environment, but into their situation, because Jesus was invited twice, and you must see this. The fact that He was around in the first place does not mean that He should be involved in anything. Do we understand that? Now when there was a problem, they now invited Jesus into the situation. This is a wisdom for those of us who are married.

 

Now, the fact that Jesus is in your house, Jesus is in your marriage does not mean that He will intervene into the situation of your marriage without you calling for Him. There is the place of you calling on Him that He must do something about your marriage. Now, many marriages have broken telling themselves “after all, we are men of God, we are people of God, you are a pastor and I am a pastor Mrs. Shouldn’t we be able to fix things under God?” And yet, the only thing that God did was to bring the two together, God is not involved in fixing them together. And so, assuming Jesus was around, because if you notice the response of Jesus to His mother “that woman, what does your concern has to do with mine”, that shows us that assuming that Jesus was not approached the second time, He would have been there, looking. Nothing would happen. Do we understand that?

 

So, it was the mother of Jesus that brought the matter to Jesus, we did not know how Mary was connected to the groom and the bride. But now, let us understand that what Mary did, she would not have gotten concerned if not at a point, the host, the groom or the bride have consulted her to get through to Jesus through her. She wouldn’t have known that there was no more wine except somebody came to her. So, even though she was not the one coordinating the event, yet, her attention was called because she could help them to get the attention of Jesus. Now, if Jesus can be involved in this matter, shame will be avoided, fights and battles will be avoided in this occasion. So, there are times in your marriage that it seems things are not rosy, your marriage is about to hit the rock, and you ask yourself question, “does it mean God is not around?” God is around, but has God been invited into the situation? That is point number one that you must meditate on.

 

Another thing we must meditate on is on that verse 6 and 7. As soon as Jesus attention was called, immediately He noticed there were redundant vessels around Him. They told Him a problem, they shared a problem with Him, and as soon as He was told about the problem, He saw redundancy. He saw wasted assets or assets lying fallow, unused, “unmaximized”, unutilized. Because, as soon as they told Him, Bible says “now there were set there six waterpots of stone, (talking about availability of resource) according to the manner of purification of the Jews, containing twenty or thirty gallons apiece.” That is what is has capacity to contain. That summarized the potential of the resource.

 

The vessels available has potentials, the maximum potential to each is one hundred and twenty liters while the minimum is eighty, however, at this point, there is a shame looming, there is hardly anything that can be found inside that resource. That vessel is hardly containing anything, it is big, but it is empty. I am sure we are familiar with that quote that says “the empty barrel makes the loudest noise.” Now, replace that noise with something else. I am sure we know that the statement is not a compliment, it is more like an insult. It says “the empty barrel makes the loudest noise.” The empty vessels, the empty couples, makes the loudest noise.

 

For those of us that have watch military films or any kind of epic films, we know that whether a soldier is holding a gun or a sword, he is not expected to hold it anyhow. There is a way to gold your sword, do we remember that? There is a way to hold your gun. And there is a way you will hold it, whether gun or sword, that somebody will know that you are an amateur. So, you can’t just be holding and stand anyhow, there is a way you hold, there is a way you stand that connotes your preparedness for the battle in front of you. So, it is not enough for you to have a resource or a potential; it is important that you maximize your potential.

 

You don’t just hold a gun or a knife or sword in battle without fully knowing hot to handle it and use it to your advantage. Having access or availability of something does not make you to experience the victory of fruitfulness or productivity. There is a need for you to know how to use what you have, or how to use what you have access to. Now, these people that were getting married had available resources within their reach. It was supposed to carry water, and water was supposed to be for the purification of the guest. So, the value of the resource that they had went beyond them to even include the people around them. However, there was no water in the waterpots.

 

In the last Disciplers’ Convocation, I mention that epic film, 300, to buttress some of the points I was making. You will notice in that movie that the army that actually fought better were quieter than the army that was defeated. The larger armies were making so much noise but were dying so quickly. So, it is not about the noise of your marriage, it is not about the complaints. It is not about the cries, the frictions in your marriage. It is about the effectiveness of your union. Every time when people come to settle quarrel, every time you are the one that have lack, there is something that you need that everybody in your neighborhood or your family members should know about. So, you don’t have enough money, you are the one that is sacked when everybody is being sacked in the office, or when a few are sacked, you are the one complaining about lack. Things are not working around you; you are simply making noise. And so, what is producing the noise? Are there no marriages, even though things are not working the way they desire it, but things are moving? Why should it be your marriage that would become the talk of the town for the evil or for the bad?

 

When people are talking about marriages that are descent, why shouldn’t it be your marriage? Is it only when they are talking about marriages that shouts a lot, that fights a lot, that disagrees every time, that your marriage should be mentioned? What is the fruit of your marriage? Bible says “wisdom is justified by her children.” What are the fruits that your marriage has been producing? Has it been glorifying your Father? Now, if there was enough wine at that moment, Jesus would even be glorified because He was in a place everything is sorted out. But for Him to say “what does your concern has to do with mine” is because He was in a place where they were inconveniencing Him with their shortcomings. They had available resource to use but they did not use it.

 

That is when He wanted to solve the problem, the first thing He did was to say “those empty vessels, fill them up, those latent talents, use them, those capacities, sharpen them.” In other words, Jesus was saying the cutting edge, sharpen it. Your wife knows how to talk, your husband knows how to talk, sharpen it. Let het talk be guided, let her talk be an effective talker. Now, the stones were like natural endowments but they had a capacity, yet, unused. So, when Jesus wanted to do what you call miracle, He started by tapping their resources, by using the thing they had that they have kept idle, he started by helping them to see use for the things they have left unused.

 

The truth is, if your marriage will not bring shame, if your marriage will be a fruitful marriage; there are resident potentials and capabilities in your marriage that are dormant within the marriage. And so, instead of you saying “there is not enough wine, not enough money, this and that”, you should be mindful that while you don’t have all that, there is something that you have that the two of you have abandoned. So, should you continue to complain about the things that you don’t have, when you have left the things that you have unused.

 

Now there is something else that I want us to note there. I am sure you understand that the wedding wouldn’t have started at all if the couples were not sure they had something. If the couples were not sure that they had enough that would help them to avoid shame and disunity, they wouldn’t start it. So, what is it? They started the wedding occasion under the presumption that there was an available resource. And this leads me to something that we must not play around with. There is a reality in which I want to introduce to us. Many men and women today in our generation get married under very funny circumstances, we know that. But much more, many people in our generation today get married to presumed men and women. I am getting somewhere.

 

There is a difference between a man and a presumed man. There is a difference between a woman and a presumed woman. That presumed woman could become a woman, but for now, it is presumed that she is a woman. And as this people started their wedding, believing that they had potentials with ability, only to realize that all they had was potential without enough ability. That is how many women, many men have been married to couple that are not yet ready, even though they appear to be. This people started the wedding believing they had what they needed. They believe the stones that were meant for water would carry water. But at the peak, there was no water and wine. So, it means that what was presumed to carry water, was not eventually realized to be without water.

 

That is how many men that are presumed to be men have gotten married to many women that are presumed to be women. Now, one thing you must not forget is that there is a difference between a man and a boy. There is a difference between a woman and a girl. Their difference is in their maturity and readiness to accept responsibility. So, when a man is presumed to be a man, such a person is expected to be able to bear responsibilities because of his maturity. Don’t forget, this calamity did not start for this couple at the beginning of the wedding. It started eventually. I’m sure you still remember in Matthew where Jesus was talking about those who built their houses on the rock, and those who built on the sand. He says “when the flood comes, when the wind comes, when the rain comes.” Those are the things that will test the quality if the foundation. So, when the foundation is being tested, it’s not in the beginning. It is eventually. Whether the couples have been men indeed and women indeed, it is not at the beginning of the marriage.

 

As the marriage continues, many things will happen that will check if indeed a man is a man, and if indeed a woman is a woman. Don’t forget the two things I mentioned; the difference between a boy, a man and a girl, a woman; is in maturity and responsibility. And so, when an immature person gets married even though he is old, he will be irresponsible in the marriage, irresponsible for avoiding shame, irresponsible for avoiding disunity. And so, things are scattering in the marriage, the man cannot do anything to stop it, the woman cannot do anything to stop it and everybody seems to throw it up. “I don’t know what to do.” Why don’t they know what to do? They are not yet responsible or they are not yet ready to be responsible.

 

It takes responsibility for you to say “I’m sorry”, it takes responsibility for you to say “please”. It takes responsibility for you to say the things that will calm down hot fire. But an irresponsible person who is not just irresponsible because he wants to be irresponsible, but irresponsible because of immaturity, will simply be clueless when there are matters arising in the marriage. So, it’s not enough for you to say “this man is tall, dark and handsome.” You must be able to pray beyond how he appears. When you are saying he is tall, dark and handsome, you are talking about his potentials. What about his actual ability?

 

He has the tendency to be a great man but has he started the journey of greatness? “My husband will know how not to beat a woman but now he is till beating me.” Does it make sense? So, these are the things we must consider. Those who want to remain married, they must evaluate their marriages and see the following: is there a need for my husband to be more matured? Is there a need for my husband to be more responsible? Is there a need for my wife to be more matured? Is there a need for my wife to be more responsible? If there is a need what can I do? When these couples had problem, they did not attempt to solve it by themselves. What did they do? They brought the matter to Jesus.

 

Jesus was invited but Jesus was again invited to solve their problems. And so, if you tell yourself the lie “my husband will outgrow it, it’s only a matter of time”, all the dirty things he does every day, he will outgrow it”, is your husband a boy? When you have a child of three years and the child is bed wetting, you believe he will stop, you are hopeful, you believe he is a young boy. But imagine a man of thirty-three years that bed wet every day, what do you say? Will you say he will outgrow it? No! There is a gross discipline, a matter of his maturity that have been left unutilized, just like that stone, the water pot, that has been left empty. You must go to Jesus, you must be able to carry yourselves to Jesus and say “here we are, please fill us up.” Our marriage can be better but we know that you are the only one that can make us as individuals to be better. Until we are a better people individually, we cannot produce fruits in our marriage. Until I grow in maturity as a man, I cannot work with my wife to produce fruits. Until I become more responsible as a man, I cannot help my wife also to be responsible.

 

An irresponsible marriage produces irresponsible fruits. Immature marriages produce immature fruits, make the marriage better the fruits will be better. How do you make it better? Go to Jesus, it was Jesus that said it. Make the tree bad the fruits will be bad, make the tree good the fruits will be good. The same Jesus has the ability to tap the inherent potentials in every human being that have been left dormant. When was the last time the couple developed himself or herself? And yet, even though you know it has been a long time, yet you did nothing about it. As long as you are having fun, she brings you food, she takes care of you, you careless about her maturity. The truth is as her immaturity perpetuates so shall her irresponsibility be. Has your wife has refused to be matured simply because yourself have avoided the matters of maturity, so shall the irresponsibility of your marriage continue. These are important things that we must never miss.

 

See what happens in verse 8, verse 7 shows us what Jesus did.  Verse 8 says: And he said to them, draw some out.” What are they drawing out? What were they supposed to draw out? They were supposed to draw water because they filled it with water, right? But they drew it out and then took it somewhere. Now look at it this way: at a time, they filled it in and at another time they drew it out. What happens when they refused to fill it in? Wouldn’t there be a need for them to draw something out? There would be, but would there be any thing for them to draw out? No!

 

You see, as time goes on in marriage, the husband and the wife will at different times draw virtues out of themselves. It is a necessity. At different times in your marriage, your wife will draw virtues out of you, at different times in your marriage your husband will draw virtues out of you. But what happens to a man without enough virtues and his wife is drawing virtues from, what happens? How do you describe a man without virtues? A man without virtue is immoral and so when your husband is behaving immorally, when your husband seems to be out of any morals, that means he is emptied of all morals. When your wife is in that state of immorality, it only shows that she has been emptied of all morality, all virtues have been drained out of her.

 

I am sure we remember Proverbs 31, the virtuous woman. When you say a woman is virtuous, you are saying she is full of virtues. If a water tank is supposed to be full of water, so is a virtuous woman is supposed to be full of virtues. When I come to a virtuous woman, what I do is to draw virtues out. The woman with the issue of blood, was suffering until she brought herself to Jesus. The Bible didn’t mention whether she was married or not, but let assume she was, but she decided, because we must understand that her marriage was at risk, the blood that was flowing perpetually was ruining her marriage. And so, she didn’t go to any other person at that point but to Jesus.

 

When she came to Jesus, she didn’t come to have fun with Jesus, she came to draw virtues out of Jesus. If that woman could draw virtue out of Jesu, does that not tell you that people could draw virtue out of you? When they keep drawing virtues out of you and you do not have any plan as a marriage, to replenish the drawn virtues, what happens to the couples? They become "virtueless". You have one million dollars in your account, but every day you are only withdrawing from that account, you are not depositing anything into it. What happens after a time? You will be dollar less, money less, penniless, cent less, you have noting, what has happened you use to have kobo, you use to have Naira, you use to have dollars. But because you have refused to replenish yourself, you are exhausted.

 

When you find divorce, unfaithfulness, or immorality in marriages, it is simply because the couples have been drained of their virtues and of their values and when they are drained, they are simply empty barrels, all they have to do is to make noise or they fornicate, they commit adultery, they steal, they lie. All those things are noises and what produces them; emptiness. They have potentials but their potentials have not been put into use, their potentials have not been developed. They have the capacity to receive the knowledge of God, but they are currently empty of every knowledge of God. You see, people can drain the knowledge of God form you.

 

You can suddenly find a man who used to know God telling you “who is God”, “I careless about God.” What has happened? They’ve drained God out of him. We live in a world where things are taken from you and things must be deposited in you. If you do not have a plan to replenish yourself, your couple, your marriage and you are releasing; soon you will be empty. When you bare empty, what happens? You make noise! And when you make noise, nobody values you. Those of us that have tanks in our house, reservoirs, when the tanks are empty how valuable are, they? We want them to be filled up so that they can supply water into your shower, so they can supply water to your tap, that’s it. The moment they become empty; you don’t even remember them again. Do you know who will do that? Foolish people will do that. They are empty because you have refused to replenish the tanks.

 

When tanks are empty, it is your responsibility to refill them, don’t wait till the tanks get empty. A little here, a little there; the valley will be filled with Water, is that not it? A little drop in an ocean, a little drop of water will soon fill whatever container you have. When you want to sleep tonight, open your water tap just a little and let it just drop water steadily, don’t do anything that night, come back the next morning your bucket is already full. So, when you have an empty bucket, it is because you have no plan to replenish it. It is not enough to be a married woman, married to a potentially great man or a potentially great woman, you must guide her into greatness, you must.

 

There is something I want us to look at and I have titled that aspect God’s agenda for restoring homes. And from that John 2:7-10, we can see clearly that when the matter needed to be restored to the dignity of the old time, of the beginning; they came to Jesus and it was His agenda that brought restoration into the situation. The hopelessness, the shame was removed, why? He had a plan, He said “there are unused potentials everywhere here” He said: “fill them up, take responsibility for filling them up. Having fill them up, take it, draw some out and give it to the people.” Draw some out, write a book, draw some out preach a message, draw some out write an article, draw some out create a product, draw some out, start an organization, draw some out, help a neighbor, draw some out help a brother, draw some out help, your wife, draw some out help, pray for your husband. Draw some out. But you are drawing out from where you have deposited.

 

The servant that filled to the brim, they were the same people that drew out. Now let’s see verse 9, When the master of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine, and did not know where it came from (but the servants who had drawn the water knew), the master of the feast called the bridegroom. Yesterday when we were led at the leadership fellowship, on the issues of marriage, our brother made us to understand that the man has a responsibility of leadership in the home. When the situation, when shame and disunity was chased away, the first person they beckoned on, and they wanted to find out “how did you do it”, it was not the woman, but they called the bridegroom.

 

They say: “you are the head of this marriage; how did you solve your problem? How did you stop the shame, how did you ensure that your marriage remain till now?” See what happened in verse 10: And he said to him, “Every man at the beginning sets out the good wine, and when the guests have well drunk, then the inferior. You have kept the good wine until now!” So, looking at that good wine, I noted a few things. The good wine represents good character. So whatever character that has started was not the best. But what has happened? At the time when Jesus was engaged in their marriage, the wine they have which they thought was okay, was no longer the best, there was now a better wine.

 

So, there was the old wine, and also there was the new wine, and then the master of the occasion calls the new wine the good wine. So, the good character came up when Jesus was invited. Good works, good relationship, good knowledge, good vision, good goals, good company, good answers and good provision you have kept until now. And so, it looks as if at a time when your family, your marriage supposed to be going down, that is when it starts rising up. What has happened? Jesus has been invited. So, Jesus has now become the Master brewer, the one who is now brewing a good character in your marriage. Your husband is now improving, he is becoming a better person, why, because Jesus is now brewing a good character in him. He now knows the truth. In the past he used to know politics, but now he now knows the truth, and since he now knows the truth, he’s been set free.

 

My husband no longer struggles with this, my wife no longer struggles with this, because Jesus has taught him and Jesus is teaching him, so he has good vision. In the past he used to see many things and now he is seeing the good. Even when he is looking at me, his wife, he is seeing the good in me, why, he has a good vision, what is producing it, Jesus. Good goals. The things the marriage will now be doing no longer depends on government policy, is no longer determine on neighbor’s actions, they are now goals. The family is now coming up with the right goals, so they are good goals. Good company, in those days my husband used to company with any human being, good, the bad and the ugly. He used to party, he used to drink, he used to go to the club, but since Jesus was invited into our home, my husband is now keeping company with the right people, people that are challenging him, people that are helping him.

 

My husband is now seeing things differently from the ways he used to see them, why, because he now has a good company. I’m sure we remember when the Bible says “bad companies, corrupt good manners.” The Bible also says in Proverbs that “soft answers turn away wrath.” So, when your wife is supposed to be angry by your answer, you decide to give her a good one. So, some people are trying to wait “when will there be another fight in your marriage?” But since they’ve been waiting and they haven’t seen any fight, why, because Jesus has given you good answers. You know how to respond to your husband; your husband knows how to respond to you. When you are asking questions, there is a good answer. Who is responsible for the good answers? Jesus!

 

I know that there is now good provision, there are times that all that you have is what is enough for you to survive, you are not just surviving but just to survive, it’s because Jesus has not been invited. When Peter needed to pay tax, like house rent, to pay government tax, what happens, he came to Jesus. Jesus attended to him and there was enough. That is what is supposed to happen. When Jesus is invited into your marriage, what you have will be enough. You have good provision, and you mustn’t forget all these things that we have mentioned they have a root somewhere. Jesus said “fill the water pots with water.”

 

I’m sure as we are, we are like water pots. But many of us are empty, how long are we going to remain empty, even though we are married? When are we going to be sincere enough to bring our marriages to Jesus and say “Lord fill me as a man with water, fill me as a woman with water, so I can be enough to satisfy my marriage?” The other thing I wanted to mention, but I will paraphrase the area, is in Genesis 2:18-25, the Bible says: And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” And the Bible says God did it and brought her to him. And when everything was done, the Bible says therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh.” There is unity, no more shame, do you know where I found the shame>

 

In chapter 2:25 the Bible says “the man and the woman were both naked”, the man and his wife were both naked, and were not ashamed. They were naked, they were opened, and vulnerable to themselves, the other one knew the secret of the other, nobody was hiding anything, and as long as they did that; there was no shame, and when there is no shame, what happens is that the marriage becomes more solidified. It is shame that divides the marriage, “why did you tell somebody, why did you let everybody know, why did you show everybody that am a rubbish man, why did you tell everybody that your husband is nobody”, so what happens, there is division. But when there is no shame there is unity. “I pray that God will help us in Jesus name”

 

When a man and his wife are naked, that also shows that they are in a similar situation. The Bible says “both were naked” and its important you understand this in marriage. It is best when the situation in the marriage is the same for two of you. It is not as if you are struggling, she is not struggling, you are struggling she is not struggling. You are confused he knows what to do, you are always confused, he always knows what to do. I don’t envy that! At what point would you tell yourself that the situation between my husband and myself should be similar? We find in the world today wives becoming so knowledgeable in the word of God and the husband knows nothing, and then the woman calls herself a pastor, pastoring a church and her husband is a member of another church. Ignorance! The man knows everything, he knows from Genesis to Revelation, the wife cannot even quote Psalms. What’s the good there? Let the marriage be that the couple are both naked and they are not ashamed. Nobody is ashamed of ignorance because of everybody knows.

 

If you know something teach your wife. If you have master something, let her master it. One thing I used to get excited with on my own is that I was the one that taught my wife how to drive motto, she tried to learn it before she married me, but God did not make it possible. She even paid some amount of money to a driving school but she ended up not going. I was happy. She came into my life completely ignorant of driving, but I did not lord it over her. Because very early in the marriage as soon as the Lord made the car available, I made sure I taught her, and I did not teach her so she can be a mediocre driver. Those of you that have seen her driving before, you will see that she is not a mediocre. Now there is a reason why I am saying this.

 

I knew myself that I was born to drive and so, I must make sure that my wife must drive in such a manner that is comparable to me. When the Bible says “there was no man comparable”, I did not desire to become a man that people can’t compare me with my wife, it’s an aberration. Some people derive joy in it. “Nothing can get done until that man comes around”, it’s a problem. Your wife is around and nothing is happening, your wife should be able to replace you when you are not around. what then is the essence of the marriage? You are the only one that knows everything. I remember sometimes in my wife’s office she talks to them about computer too and some people will look at her as if she knows computer, what has happened? Something is flowing! Even though she is not available to learn but I am forcing it.

 

By the time she asks me “how was your day and I begin to talk about computer” that’s it. Let your wife be comparable to you and in some certain cases where some wives have gone everywhere and their husbands haven’t gone anywhere, you must be humble enough to bring yourself down or you are strong enough to lift your husband up so that two of you are comparable. Do we understand? For example, there is a situation where the wife is always looking good and the man looks tattered. You are not comparable. That’s an issue my wife has been fixing around my life since, that even though she dresses well, I should dress well too because sometimes I think I am busy and I just want to dress anyhow. Do we get it? She is still working and she is trying in that regard. Amen!

 

I believe you have learnt something!


Thanks for the gift of your time, I am Gboyega Adedeji!

Feel free to share your thoughts or testimony in the comment box below. I promise to respond to them as soon as possible!


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Word of Confession: (Optional)

Lord Jesus, I confess to you that I have sinned against the LORD God - in the rebellion of my heart, I have disappointed your expectations on my life. I have fallen from Your grace and followed wrong influences around me. Today, I retrace my steps back to you - and I ask that in your mercy you accept me as your son and give to me (again) the promise of the Father - the Holy Spirit. Lord Jesus, please, come and make my heart your home, and from there rule in the affairs of all men. In Jesus Name I have prayed.



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On what foundation are you building your marriage, business, ministry or carrier? The wind, storm and rains will definitely come with their own unique kind of test. Your foundation will determine if you will either stand or get blown away......


Published: Apeh Francis Abah | Thursday 10th October 2019


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On what foundation are you building your marriage, business, ministry
  On what foundation are you building your marriage, business, ministry
  On what foundation are you building your marriage, business, ministry
  On what foundation are you building your marriage, business, ministry
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