In this piece, I would love to continue with the text under consideration in the last episode. Genesis chapter 2 verse 18. “And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

This was God making an acknowledgement for the man, He said it is not good for the man to be alone. Why should a man get married? Or how do you know that you are ready for marriage? Two things are involved; number one. The decision to marry does not originate from the man it comes to man via the word. And this word does not come until God finds you ready. Most times men arise in their strength, and say I want to marry, I think I am ready to marry outside the plan, time and will of God, such an adventure is futile and at best leads to a marriage that is either not healthy, or not blissful, or not fruitful or not purposeful. The word of God must inform your decision as to who to marry and when to marry. This is what builds a firm foundation for marriage. A marriage-built precept upon precept by the word of God.

 Number two; there is a measure of awareness the man has come into; he must be purposeful, actively carrying out the assignment of God on the earth. Remember it was God that said it is not good for the man to be alone, not the man saying to himself it is not good for me to be alone. I would like you to note this; until God says declares that it is not good for you to be a lone, any helper you find was not made or provided by God.

So, a question popped in my spirit who then is a man that should not be alone? In an attempt to answer this question, I want us to look through the book of Genesis chapter 2 verse 7. It says; Bible says “then God formed the man out of the dust of the ground. And breathed into His nostrils the breath of life and man became a living being.” What is the implication of this? The one who God has acknowledged not to be alone must have gone through the process or the formation process of God. It says “then God formed the man.” I also want you to note that it is one thing to be formed, it is another thing to carry the breath of the almighty. A formed man is different from a man that carries the breath of the almighty. However, a man who was never formed by God cannot carry the breath of God. It is the man who has been formed and breathed upon that is actually a living soul. So, having been formed, there is a becoming. What have you become? Until you become you are not seen by God to be ready. This is the truth! This is what makes a man. Having been trained and disciplined, pruned and shaped by God, which we could call the making process or the formation process, the process of cleaning, repair from your broken state and maladjusted behaviors, you still need the filling of the Spirit of God not to a certain measure but to be adequately and overwhelmingly full of the Spirit. Unfortunately, the society see this first phase of God's making or formation process as the yardstick for having a successful marriage.

 

As much as it is good to be well cultured, trained and domesticated, there is something higher. What happens when the man is angry? Who will control him? What happens when there is misunderstanding and the woman offends him, who will call the man to order and speak some sense into him even though he refuses to listen to the elders? It is good to be well cultured and respectful, it is good to know that it is not good to beat a woman but there is a limit to where this knowledge will take you. You actually need the power to live out that life. To produce the fruits of the Spirit. so, what makes you ready for marriage, what makes you have a blissful marriage is when the man or the woman can begin to express the fruit of the Spirit.

That leads us to the next thing. It says; “then the man became a living soul.” This is the big deal. I want us to note that word living soul. It could mean many things, but one thing that stands out among those many things is that the man must be Spiritually alert because this is what will form the basis to how God will relate with him and his wife and what God will do with the destiny of His marriage.

Remember that it is after this process that God comes to the garden in the cool of the day. God is Spirit, it will be difficult for the man to relate with God if He is not a living soul. Meaning He is sensitively connected in truth and in Spirit. That was why when I began, I said marriage is for those who have grown, those who have had their senses exercised to distinguish between good and evil. In other words, marriage is for sons not for babes. The reason is this; the Bible says as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the Sons of God. This means that until you become a living soul you cannot be led by God. And if you are not led by God, you are not a son of God. It takes the Spirit of God to be in a man for the man to be led by God.

It is just like buying a new computer without installing any software. As long as you do not install any software or a driver, the computer may be expensive, looking beautiful but the computer will not perform the desired task even though it has the capacity and capability. So, what God did was to impact the man with His Spirit. And as long as the Spirit of God is in him, he will be controlled by the Spirit of God, he will be led by the Spirit of God and insensitive to the flesh. This is what it means to be a living soul.

Verse 8 then says; “The Lord God planted a garden eastward in Eden, and there He put the man whom He had formed.” And I asked a question; Why did God put the man in the garden? God put the man in the garden for three reasons. To watch, to work and to discover, to explore or innovate.

So, the first reason why he put the man in the garden was to watch. I.e. to tend and keep the garden. And this the precursor to your readiness and also the secret to your marital bliss. That talks about responsibility and location. But much more than that, God required the man to be a watchman. The Bible says in Genesis 2 verse 15, “Then the Lord God took ^[d]the man and put him in the garden of Eden to ^[e]tend and keep it.” The primary responsibility God gave to the man was the work of being a watch man, to watch against intruders. It is a responsibility I like to call ‘a care taker responsibility’.

This is another whole level of discussion and this is the problem with marriages today. We have men or women who intend to marry or are in marriage but are not watchers. The primary responsibility of man as to why he was put in the garden was to watch and pray. If you can't watch you will find it difficult to give direction and bearing for the marriage. That talks about vision. Vision is only an experience available for watchers. Habakkuk 2 verse 1 to 3 says; “I will stand my watch and set myself on the rampart, and watch to see what He will say to me, and what I will answer when I am corrected. Then the Lord answered me and said: “Write the vision and make it plain on tablets, that he may run who reads it. ³ For the vision is yet for an appointed time; But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; Because it will surely come, It will not tarry.”

Why is it necessary to be a man or a woman that watch? See something the Holy Spirit showed me in Genesis chapter 2 verse 21 to 22. It says; “And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. ²² Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He ^[h]made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.”

Bible says and God put Adam to a deep sleep, this is more like a spiritual experience. His spiritual eyes are open and that was why he could recognize her immediately. If you don’t watch enough you will not see enough. At best you will only be seeing type and shadows of the real. Watchers have vision and it is in the place of watching that vision is received and the marriage will run on the strength of that vision. The reason why marriages are getting boring or breaking up is because no vision is powering that marriage. The reason why your spouse, fiancé or fiancée does not believe you have a great future or destiny is because you have never sold or marketed your vision to her. You are not carrying the burdens of God. As you are watching, what did the Lord tell you concerning your marriage? No woman hears a genuine vision and would not be excited about it.

 Do you know that woman have been wired by default to run with the vision that has been shared with them? They are like fertile lands they multiply seeds in proportion to the seed you have sown. A woman that believes in your vision is ready for marriage and she will give you peace of mind even as you carry out the assignment of God. But she doesn’t you may have to pray again to see well.

The second reason why the man was put in the garden is to work. Bible says to “tend” and keep. What does it mean to tend? It means two things; the first is to cultivate the wife God has given to him. What does cultivation mean? It is the process of trying to acquire or develop a quality or skill. It is often used to mean bringing out a better version of something. And you can’t want to bring out the best of what you don’t have interest in. so couples must learn to cherish and adore themselves. Just as the woman cultivates the vision- the seed of the man, the man cultivates or nurtures the seed of God- the assignment of God. This secret is one of the most powerful secrets of marriage. What does it mean to cultivate? To bring the best out of something. So, the woman can come to you in a raw form, your responsibility is to fix her and bring out the best in her. And this is a challenge for marriages, be deliberate and conscious to bring out the best in your spouse. Let her be better off when she met you and not worse off. Cultivation requires patience and time. When a farmer plants a seed, he doesn’t see the harvest immediately. The fruits come later after labor and time and nurturing had gone into it. If you will experience bliss in your marriage, you must be a man that tends don’t look for ready-made women fashion her to your taste. So, God expected the man to cultivate and by so doing he is working.

The second meaning of tending is to go or move or gravitate or lean towards a towards a particular direction. So, just as the man is obligated to gravitate towards his wife, the wife is also meant to gravitate towards the husband. This is what solves the problem of loneliness in marriage. Don’t be closer to the internet than your wife, don’t be closer to family and relatives than your wife. You never can imagine the spice or flavor that companionship will add to your marriage. Adam said this is now the bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. You don’t stay aloof in marriage, you are one in thoughts, in the mind, in vision and in Spirit. this is what describes readiness and bliss in marriage.

The third reason why God put the man in the garden is to discover, explore innovate.  For every purposeful marriage there is at least a stream or river flowing through. You must discover what God has deposited in your spouse and make sure it is maximized efficiently to the glory of God. In Genesis 2 verse 10 to 11, it says; “Now a river flowed out of Eden to water the garden; and from there it divided and became four [branching] rivers. ¹¹ The first [river] is named Pishon; it flows around the entire land of Havilah, where there is gold.” It takes the capacity and willingness of spouse to discover the gold hidden in every marriage. A lot of people are ignorant of the deposit of God in either their spouse or their marriage. You must be willing to discover what your spouse can do effortlessly; you must discover his or her strengths and encourage her to grow and maximize that area. This is the secret of readiness and marital bliss. God said it is not good for the man not to be alone. This is what He meant; these are His expectations when that statement was made.

Thanks for the gift of your time, I am Apeh Francis Abah!

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