In Matthew 19:4-6, the Bible says: “And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ ⁵ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? ⁶ So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate.” Jesus asked them this fundamental question in that passage we just read: Do you know and believe that for this reason called marriage, that truly; the two shall become one flesh?

Let us look at the life of Job from the book of Job chapter 1. It is a long read but I will put some of the verses here for us to read along even as we read this piece. In the story, we discovered that Satan destroyed everything that Job had including all his children but exempted only his wife. Remember the Lord God Almighty instructed Satan not to lay a hand on his person. In Job 1:12, the Bible says: “And the Lord said to Satan, “Behold, all that he has is in your power; only do not lay a hand on his person.” This reveals a deeper level of understanding about marriage to me, that indeed God is the originator of the two becoming one (marriage).

Genesis 2:21-24 confirms this assertion to us as well. The Bible says: ²¹ And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. ²² Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. ²³ and Adam said: “this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken of Man.” ²⁴ Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Husband and wife are one indeed; no wonder nothing happened to Job’s wife. She was spared from all the negative thing that happened to Job simply because a decree had been made, a word had been proclaimed to Satan not to lay a hand on his person and if you ask me what consist of his person, I will say he (Job) is one with his wife: the two had become one. This is why it is important for a man or woman to choose rightly i.e., choose spouses that are sensitive and alive to the things of God; those who have made God their everything.

Let us go back to the book of Job chapter 2:9, the Bible says: “Then his wife said to him, “Do you still hold fast to your integrity? Curse God and die!” Despite the wrong and terrible advice Job’s wife gave him to curse God and die, God did not count it on her because God saw the couple has one flesh. So, God was not only merciful to Job alone but to his wife as well. The wife enjoyed these benefits because of the grace, mercy, honor, restoration, power etc. the husband Job received from the Lord because there was no record in the Bible that Job divorced her before or after he was fully restored. The Bible says in Job 42:12-16:

“Now the Lord blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning; for he had fourteen thousand sheep, six thousand camels, one thousand yoke of oxen, and one thousand female donkeys. ¹³ He also had seven sons and three daughters. ¹⁴ And he called the name of the first Jemimah, the name of the second Keziah, and the name of the third Keren-Happuch. ¹⁵ In all the land were found no women so beautiful as the daughters of Job; and their father gave them an inheritance among their brothers.¹⁶ After this Job lived one hundred and forty years, and saw his children and grandchildren for four generations.”

When God restored Job, she was still his wife. The Bible didn’t record that he had another wife, this means that God never counted her words against her. But if the husband (Job) had actually cursed God, a lot would have happened even if he didn’t die, his later days would have been worse than the beginning. But thank God he never listened to his wife. Wives! Please let us watch what we say to our husbands especially those who love the Lord and fears Him i.e., the children of God. What if your husband is not as wise as Job? What if he is not strong and firm in the Lord, and there are frustrations, pressures and life circumstances are weighing him down? Those are not the moments when you talk him down or ask him to renounce God. As a wife, that is the time when you should step into your help ministry and encourage your husband in the Lord.

So, wives let your words or speech always be with grace, as told us by the apostle Paul in Colossians 4:6, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one; not only your husbands. As a woman, anytime you are passing through challenges in your home; go to God in prayer especially when it concerns your husband; go to God about it and hand him over to God, to step into the situation or challenges. We need to speak positively into the lives of our husbands, no negative words, no pressures. We should shower them with love, care, understanding and words of affirmations like; “God will do it, everything is in control, don’t forget we aren’t alone in this; for God is with us, pray together and hand everything over to God.”

Most times men are not concerned or worried about what others are saying about them or a particular issue in their lives, they are only looking forward to know what or how their wives feel or think about the said matter or issue. So, wife, if your husband falls into this category of men; how do you address or advise him especially when it is an instruction from God and there is need to carry you along? Do you encourage him to follow the leadings of God or you forbid him against fulfilling God’s will by been stubborn and manipulating? Let us be a woman of substance, a virtuous woman (Proverb 31:10-31). Listen, think and process words before you speak, pray through, word through (study of Scriptures) and praise through a matter before concluding on it, most importantly before opening our mouth concerning a matter. Talk less and listen more, be a woman of godly character, humility and most importantly a woman of God, one after God’s heart, a daughter of Zion.

Men, choose your wives carefully, go for a woman that loves the Lord and one who yearns to do the will of God; not a church goer, not a religion fanatic but one that has actually accepted Christ as her Lord and Savior; not a woman like Job’s wife who did not fear (reverence) God, one who advised her husband to curse God and die. Tell me, how is cursing God and dying the solution to their problem? This is just an act of unbelief. Instead of her to go to her secret place and intercede for her husband and home; she was uttering negative words. We need to get to the point where no matter what the challenge maybe, we can find rest and peace in the Lord; believing and trusting that as long as He (Christ) is in the boat with us, we choose to rest.

Thank God Job never yielded to her advice; he would have never been restored, there wouldn’t have been a testimony and the entire life story of Job would be different. Single Ladies, before we say “yes I do”, why don’t we look before we leap, we are to observe with the help of the Holy Spirit, because it is not all that glitters that are gold. It is better we stay in the waiting room than to struggle and endure in the marriage meant to be enjoyed by the help and strength of God. May the Lord remember us, visit us and transform our lives for His glory, may He open our eyes of understanding and cause our heart to be opened to Him at all times (Amen).

In conclusion, who we marry i.e., our choice in marriage goes a long way to determine our destiny, future, breakthrough in life, deliverance, liberation, success, progress, liftings etc.? Having the ability to pray through afflictions, challenges and troubles of life victoriously and to come out together been more than a conqueror. In Ecclesiastes 4:9-11, the Bible says:

⁹ Two are better than one,
Because they have a good reward for their labor.
¹⁰ For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.
But woe to him who is alone when he falls,
For he has no one to help him up.
¹¹ Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm;
But how can one be warm alone?

In marriage, children are additions to the couple. They are source of blessing and increase in the home. God said, “be fruitful, multiply and replenish the earth.” Children are blessings in homes (Psalm 127:3-4 says: Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth. When God instituted marriage, children aren’t there, even though they are in view. So, what makes up the marriage originally is the man and the woman; who have agreed to come together to become one flesh.

Men! You are the head. Whatever advice you yield yourself to, will definitely speak in your life, home, marriage, wife, children, business, in everything you own. Let the word of God be your rear-guard. Philippians 4:8 says: Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. Be strong and of good courage, do not be afraid nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

I pray that the Lord Almighty will cause our lives to align with His word (light, life, truth and power) that men can see and read through. (AMEN)

Thanks for the gift of your time, Bolaji Ajayi!
Feel free to share your thoughts or testimony in the comment box below. I promise to respond as soon as possible!