How best can we talk about the concept of being a help meet or even becoming a suitable one if we do not look back at the origin of the concept. We see this origin from the scriptures in Genesis chapter 2 from 18 to 25. I want to believe that when God said it is not good for man to be alone and that He will make a help meet for him, Adam heard it too. Then God brought the animals He had formed to Adam to name them, while doing that, Adam was searching for the suitable Helper God talked about. All he saw was each animal and its female counterpart. But God came and made Eve after putting him to rest in a deep sleep, then brought her to him, just like He did with the animals. Then in verse 23, Adam said "This is now!", sounds like something he had been waiting for. I love the way the Message translation puts it "Finally! Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh."

So, why did God say it is not good for man to be alone? One of the Hebrew words for male is "zachar", and this words includes the concept of preeminence.; and this preeminence has responsibilities and obligations, but God said preeminence ALONE is NOT GOOD. If you have a problem with configuring Excel or maybe installing some plumbing, you look for help right? Do you want your help to be more advanced and better equipped than you? Of course, you do, there's no point asking for help from someone with less or even equal capacity compared to you. They must have a better know-how than you do, then, and only then can they help you. Therefore, this woman help meet is better equipped in certain areas to help the man than the man alone is. That's why the man needed and needs a woman, a help-meet.

As we've understood the need for a help meet, let us now look at the core of our topic, and we will start by understanding the meaning of two words in our title: "suitable" and "help meet". What is suitability? According to the dictionary, suitability means "having sufficient or the required properties for a certain purpose or task; appropriate to a certain occasion." And then who is a help meet? The Hebrew word for the phrase "help meet for him" is "ezer kenegdo" which means "a helper suited to, worthy of, or corresponding to him, fitting or proper". So, according to God's definition, a help meet is a helper, a companion, a wife. A wife after God's order is the helper suitable for her husband.

A suitable wife is compatible with her husband in many respects - physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. This does not mean that the man and woman are the same in everything, only that they fit together in harmony. They complement each other. The B-flat key on the piano is not the same as the G, but together they make a harmonious chord. Similarly, a suitable helper for a husband is a wife who is different from him, but well suited to him, one who completes him in every way and who brings harmony, not discord, to the relationship. The journey of leaving and cleaving is easier when there is suitability. Every female is a woman, but not every woman is a wife as God ordained her to be. In order for you to be and walk in your suitability as a help meet, there are attributes and virtues you need to possess. Let's look at a few of them which I believe are very fundamental.

#. Having a Relationship with God.

Having a relationship with God is not a luxury in your walking or working towards becoming a suitable help-meet, it is a necessity. The role of a help meet after the order of God is a big role to fulfill and only Him who planned it all from the beginning can tell you exactly how to fulfill it.

A tree is only as good as its roots, only a good tree can bear good fruits, and because you are rooted in God, you would be able to do good to your husband and home. You become the gate keeper of your home, bringing in wisdom and words seasoned with grace from depths in the Spirit. You will be able to guard your husband and home like a city with walls. When storms arise, your oil will not go out, you will be burning with light because you have girded yourself with the strength and power of your Maker.

 #. Be Purposeful with Life.

Discovering purpose and walking in it is very crucial in your journey of being a suitable help meet. It is in discovering of purpose and walking in it that you can easily identify who you fit, who you are comparable to; a round peg cannot fit a square hole. You cannot be on a journey to Lagos and join a bus going to Gombe. When you do not know who you are, who you have been called to be and what you have been created to do, you might not know who you are suitable and comparable to, or even know how to walk in that suitability.

 #. Be Friendly and Hospitable.

Being hospitable literally means to be a host, to serve others, to be generous and friendly in entertaining others. The art of hospitality requires the heart of a servant. In the scriptures Genesis chapter 24 verse 15 to 67, Rebekah was found because of this virtue. She was nice enough to give the man, a stranger a drink, and not just him but his camels too. The Bible didn't tell us how thirsty they were, but if thirsty, one camel can drink over 25 gallons (95litres) of water, so you can imagine how many liters of water Rebekah had to draw and for ten camels. Yet, she was willing, even eager to work as hard as need be, to show hospitality to a stranger. And because of this, she was found suitable for his Master's son.

She didn't just stop there, when the servant asked for something extra, for a room in her father's house, she added that she will not only offer a room to lodge but also enough food. Then the servant worshipped God for having led him well. She was an answered prayer. Can your husband worship God for the gift of you? Can he call you his answered prayer? Even when Rebekah eventually met Isaac, after he took her as his wife, the Bible records that she brought healing to his heart after his mother's death and was comforted.

 #. Be Homely and Industrious.

We have names of women in the Bible who are examples to this point; women who were supporters of Jesus' ministry in the earth; Mary Magdalene, Joanna and Susanna who supported him out of their private means. But let's look closely at the virtuous woman in Proverbs chapter 31 who is a perfect example to buttress this point. The description of her shows that she knew what it takes to take care of her home. She was domestic and industrious.

She rises even at night to give meat to her household; even to her servants. She is able to consider a field and buy it because she is not lazy neither does she depend solely on her husband to meet the needs of the home. She works willingly with her hands, "with the fruits of her hands she plants a vineyard", she had businesses she invested in. She is homely and industrious.

#. Be Wise.

Again, the Proverbs 31 woman is a good model of a knowledgeable and wise woman which was one of her attributes of being a suitable help-meet. The Scriptures recorded that when she opens her mouth, wisdom flows and also loving, kind instructions pours out from her lips.

But, let us also look at another example of wisdom by a woman named Abigail. In the book of first Samuel chapter 26 we see an account of her, how she was described as a woman of good understanding. She took control of the situation that was potentially dangerous for them all. She didn't just sit around and blame her husband or remain stuck in fear, rather, she showed great wisdom in acting quickly, swiftly and in speaking honorably to David; and her wisdom was able to save her husband from destruction.

This virtue of wisdom she possessed made her so irresistible that as soon as King David heard her husband was dead, he married her.

Conclusively, I would love to let us know that as life itself is a journey, so is the walk and work of suitability in the life of your husband as a help meet; the Holy Spirit keeps showing you ways of growth and changes needed as you keep yielding to Him.

Thanks for the gift of your time, I am Doris Okenyi!

Feel free to share your thoughts or testimony in the comment box below. I promise to respond to them as soon as possible!