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Is It Better NOT To Marry?
Stats: 8,951 words / Reading Time: 44.76 mins

Published: Friday, 15th October 2021

By: Gboyega ADEDEJI

Is It Better NOT To Marry? is read 461 times on CentreNDL.org 461


Let This TRUTH Set Your Relationship And Marriage FREE Permanently!

Listen To Podcast: Is It Better Not To MARRY?

We are looking at the question: Is it better to Marry? Now, this question was not particularly raised by me, it has been raised by people like us. But because people like us at a point raised a similar question, we want to look into it. We want to probe more; Is it Better to Marry? And we will start our discussion from the book of Matthew chapter 19 from verse 1. See what the Bible says:


Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there. This is where the issue began from. The first question we want to encounter today was asked by the Pharisees. The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?”  Is it lawful? Now the question is complicated. There seems to be some bias and attitude in the question. In fact, the Bible made us to understand that they asked that question, not because they really love Jesus, but because they wanted to test Him. Are you really from God? It is lawful for a man to divorce his wife just for any reason? “You put plate where you are not supposed to put it, so, I divorce you.” Isn’t that any reason? So, the question is not even a very righteous question


Now, look at the response of Jesus in verse 4, Matthew 19:4. It says: “And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ He who made the marriage that you are asking whether you can divorce, made the participants of the marriage, male and female and said for this reason that I have instituted marriage and for the purpose is intended to accomplish; said: ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? meaning that even though they were male and female and they come together to form one, as soon as they form one under God, it becomes difficult for any human being to distinguish between the man and his wife. You won’t be able to say ‘this is the man’s thinking, this is the woman’s thinking’, but you would say, ‘this is how they think’, this marriage, this is how they behave. Everything about the marriage becomes one: one mind, they make the same choices. And what happens? You would see them command the same result. Why? Because they have joined together to become one.


So, let us continue from verse 6: So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man (let no government, let no institution or group of people) separate.” Another version says put asunder. Imagine having a pulpit before you with three different poles, there is glass and many other components in it. The poles came from different angles and sides, but they are joined together by the welder, and the man who welded them did it with the intention that they should no longer be three but united as one. Every weight coming from up is equally carried by the three of them. They are no longer three but one so that if you successfully pull one of the poles away, you will cause them an imbalance. And when imbalance is created and a heavy load is put on the pulpit, the remaining two will collapse. But the situation in marriage is even more complicated. In the case of any joined poles, it is possible to see some separation in the manner they stand, but in the case of marriage, it is not possible to see any difference; the two are completely one.


In marriage if you successfully separate one, you make the one that is separated to become completely useless. What happens to human being that you decide to pull some parts of his body apart? What will you see, you will see blood flowing everywhere, and ultimately, if care is not taken the man will die. Many people think because they are able to separate or divorce in marriage, and they are living, they thought nothing has gone wrong, no, something went wrong: it is a journey of death that has begun that will be visible overtime. If you cut away the hand of a man, the man does not die immediately, but if the man is left on his own, he will be short of blood after certain hours. What will then happen afterward, the man will die. So, what God joined together; were you the one who join the two shoulders together, do you know how God did it? Whatever God has joined together; God does not expect you to separate it.


When they asked Jesus the serious question, Jesus answered them, have you not read that “He who join them at the beginning made them male and female, and whatever God has joined together, let no man put asunder”. And for this reason, “A man shall leave his mother and father and be joined to his wife”. This places a responsibility on the man to leave his father and mother and be joined to the wife. If a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife successfully, it then also requires that the wife also has to leave her parents, because it is not in her parent’s home that the man is expected to go and join her. I think the Bible might be avoiding tautology if not the particular passage would have been rendered thus: “A man shall leave his father and mother, and the wife also shall leave her mother and father, and the two shall join.” But that is the reality.


Now the two are expected to leave their parents and be joined together and become one. And God expected that both live together forever because there is a purpose that the union is meant to produce — for as long as their purpose remains, their union must remain. So, you don’t temper with their oneness while their purpose remains. So, it takes the one who has joined them together to separate them at the expiration of the purpose for their or union. Often times in marriage vow, they will say, “I take her to be my lovely and wedded spouse till death do us part.” The Bible says, “God is able to kill and keep alive.”  If it is only death that can do them apart, it then means, God who joins them is the one who can separate them. Until God is ready to separate them by death, they should remain as one. Except each of them has finished the purpose they were sent to the earth for, they are to remain together.  


So, based on that background, it is expected that marriage should remain until death separates either of the couple. Until the marriage union have fulfilled its purpose under God, the man and his wife are not expected to separate or divorce. The Bible says, “They wanted to kill Jesus but could not until His time came.” There are couples who actually leave this world at the same time, but most couples don’t leave at the same time. But as soon as one leaves, that is the end of the union. But until then, you stay together. So, if you have not finished the purpose for your life, you won’t be required to be joined to another after God has joined you to one. Do you understand? You don’t want to die, or look at God and say, I have actually finished what you sent me to the earth to do, except you want God to kill you. This is not like you went to the supermarket, and you say let me buy Maggi to cook with it. But when you discover you don’t like a particular Maggi, you then decide to throw it away because you now want magi star, chicken, or crayfish magi. No, marriage is about what God Himself has joined together.


The One who made them at the beginning made them male and female, especially the woman. The Bible didn’t tell us that the woman was created and was living several years somewhere before she got married. Based on the understanding that we have about the woman, Eve; when God was done making the woman, God brought her immediately to the man. It seems as if that is the one reason she was created. So, if the marriage that she was created to function, cease to exist, what are we trying to say in essence is that her life is also not required. So, if you want to terminate her marriage, you must also do well to terminate her life. Because her life is for a purpose that is rooted in that marriage. So, don’t look at your wife today, and say I am ok with you, no, except you want God to kill you. She was created for you, and you are tired of her, it then means you want God to kill you and kill her.


Matthew 19 is where we are. Now, there was a question from the Pharisee to Jesus: “Is it lawful to put my wife away for any reason?” We know that question has an ulterior motive in it. Now, Jesus has spoken and let us go into verse 7, the Jews spoke further, if what you are telling us is impossible, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?” You are saying it is deadly for any of us to put away our wives, but Moses instructed us to give her a paper to show that we are putting her away, and that will be alright for her exit. But the exit is like death sentence because she will become useless as soon as she is being sent out of her purpose. Jesus replied in verse 8 and I want us to look at the reply of Jesus: “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.”


As for us who are disciples of Christ, we know that there is what is called the permissive will of God and perfect will of God. And apostle Paul said, “That we will be able to prove what is the perfect will of God”, not the permissible will of God. You close your eyes, and God says “Don’t go”, and you say, “I will go”. And God says, “If you will go, just be careful so you don’t fall down.” Then you will say, “At least God does not want me to die”. That is called the permissible Will of God. What is His perfect Will? Don’t go. When Jesus was at the threshold of His life purpose on earth, He was pressed from all sides and He offered this prayer to His Father saying, “Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless, not My will, but Yours, be done”. At that point, if Jesus had insisted that the cup been taken from Him, the cup would have passed, but it would have become the permissible will of God, and not the perfect will. Do we now build our church today on that permissible will?


So, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.” And this is the word for the wise; if you are not wise, you will say, Moses has permitted us to divorce our wives. Jesus made them to see that it was not so at the beginning, but the hardness of their heart was why Moses granted them the permission: what is in my heart is what I will do. There is no one that will stop me, that is why Moses said, “You may do it, and give her paper to show it”. But in the beginning it was not so. If you want to kill yourself, you want to kill that woman, let there be evidence that it was your choice all along. The marriage you are tired of it, and you want to commit suicide, let there be certificate of suicide. Then Jesus spoke more for to help their understanding;” And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery”.  And in Galatians 5, the Bible says Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness”.


Adultery is one of the works of the flesh, and the man could even be a bishop of a church. But he has used explanation to explain or excuse himself from the guilt or the judgment. There was a time a pastor was announcing that he has divorced his wife, and there was screaming everywhere in the church. The women took side with the pastor’s wife, and the men were on the side of the pastor. It could even be that the men too were even planning to do the same thing. You know people love people who will take the lead in any evil they want to do. The women were like saying, “Sir, why will you do this?” In the Book of Esther, in the days of Ahasuerus (this was the Ahasuerus who reigned over one hundred and twenty-seven provinces, from India to Ethiopia), the wife disobeyed the commandment of the king, and the men protested and asked the king to put her away. The men told the king, if this act of your wife is not punished, all our wives will be doing the same thing: less our own wives on hearing the misbehavior of the queen and start disobeying us in our own homes too, punish your own wife.


So, in the story of the pastor and the church members; the women knew, if the pastor could do this to their mama, it will not take time, their own husbands would be doing likewise. So, as they were protesting during the church meeting, the pastor was still trying to explain it away. But could the explanation cover up what God has said; “whoever does this commits adultery?” When a man who had already paid the bride price of a woman approaches a court to get a divorce paper and put his wife away, that does not put the wife away from the man in sight of God. Paper from the court is not visible with God. As far as God is concerned you are married; and you are like saying, “God, see the evidence of divorce”, God wouldn’t honor that. You then go ahead to marry another woman; you did traditional marriage, you killed many cows, and you even invited many men of God, and you are like saying they laid hand on us and said to us, “I therefore pronounce this man and this woman husband and wife.” And God is saying, that man you are joining to second person who is currently married to another is committing adultery. And the woman who marries him, even though she is not married before has committed adultery. And adultery is sin. Anyone who does this act shall not inherit the kingdom of heaven.


Whether the man has been teaching eloquently or doing deliverance for people in the past, the man has cut himself short; the man will not make it — the man has committed adultery. The Book of Hebrews chapter 13 verse 4, the Bible says: “Marriage is honourable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers [unfaithful men] God will judge.”  Does the Bible say, “He shall be judge by the Supreme Court of Nigeria?” No. It is not about the court of men. The courts of this world can say you are now the husband of this woman, but they cannot separate. They may put together, but they can’t separate. If your wife has not committed any terrible sexual sin; you that is still a mystery for God to uncover for us, because if the Bible says, “A terrible sin”, the sin must seriously be terrible. There was a conversation between Jesus and His disciples, they asked Jesus, Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven times”. That means, if it were possible for one to be counting, he or she will have to be counting it for the rest of his or her live. 


If we are to look or observe the attitude of Jesus carefully and Jesus quoted a thing and he added except, do you think Jesus will now make it light? There was a woman that was cut in an adultery and brought to the Lord Jesus, the Bible reported that, the woman was cut in the very act. And according to the Law of Moses she is supposed to be stoned. But Jesus wrote on the ground and said, “If there is anyone among you who had not committed sin before, let him be the first to cast the first stone at her.” In the long run when they were all gone having convicted by their own consciences, Jesus turned to the woman and asked, “Where are your accusers?” the woman answer, “No none condemn me”. And Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you, go in peace and sin no more.” Jesus does not tolerate sin, but the thing they saw that they thought they should kill the woman, Jesus said, “No, she does not must not die”. You yourselves have done worse, much more, if were to be killing you like that none of you will be alive up till now.


We use to easily conclude that, that woman is the worse woman on the face of the earth; you are not correct, you are not accurate. She is not the worse woman in the world. What she has done is not the worst thing that can ever be done on the face of the earth. You have to ask yourself, what will she do that I will say she has done a terrible sexual immorality? You shouldn’t be so quick to judge. Frankly speaking, the man even has a role to play so that his woman does not commit a terrible sin. If a man should take up his responsibility well in the home towards their own wives according to apostle Paul when he instructed that if women have any issue to inquire about, they should calm down in the church and go home to ask their husbands. A man is even expected to teach, to build up his wife, but you are doing nothing, then you want to be the first to stone her for making mistakes — if you don’t help her to avoid mistakes but you want to be the one to stone her; that is wrong.


So, if men will accept their responsibilities, it will not be possible for the woman to commit an offense that is not forgivable; like some will say, “We are divorcing on the ground of irreconcilable differences”. A man is not to wait for a woman to fall before he will be saying, “Do you see yourself; you don’t know any other thing than to fall down”. Can’t help her not to fall down? If you have really become one with that woman, why are you waiting for her to fall down so you can be rejoicing — you don’t know anything than falling down, look at me, I don’t fall down! The truth is that, you are just shouting and announcing your own failure. The glory of the man is the woman; if your wife is bad, it is because you are bad. My wife does not shake anytime I use some uncomfortable words on her, she will simply tell me, “I am Mrs. what you said.” So, I have to be careful to say it again. No matter how good or bad what I mention is, she will just say, she is only a wife version of it, meaning I am the husband version of it; either good or bad. And if I look at myself carefully, If I can fix myself, I can fix her.


So, don’t be like Nigerian policeman who will not help you to avoid making mistakes, but will arrest you after you have done it. And the man will say, “God has catch you for us today.” Don’t wait till you catch her, make sure she doesn’t have a room to be caught. What is it she needs that could make her to be caught, or commit a crime worthy of being caught? Many men are missing in action (MIA). They are nowhere to be found in the life of the woman, but only to come when the deed is done as persecuting judge to condemn her. Don’t just wait to condemn her, make sure she does not fall into error, because she has become one with you from the day you married her, you are one. If you try to separate from her, you will die; it is a matter of time. You can be counting the death; financial death, psychological death, health death, then eventually it will come to physical death; it is a matter of time.


Let us go to Matthew 19:10, after the disciple listened to Jesus’ discussion with the Jews, they were not quiet, they said to Jesus, “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”  They didn’t ask question, but they declared their opinion on the subject matter; if this matter is this sensitive, then it is not good to marry. But what made the disciple to come to this conclusion: instead of them to fail in marriage, as men, “It is better not to marry.” While we could critically examine them, we could as well watch them carefully. There was something there wanted to avoid, and the only way they could avoid it so that there are no problems for their lives and destiny, it is by not marrying at all. I know Peter was married at this time, so he wouldn’t make this statement. So, let’s put on the cap of Peter now to feel what he felt when the other disciples arrived at this conclusion. Just like Peter, we that are already married wouldn’t say the thing other disciples were bold to say: “it is better not marry”.


But the issue is, “is it better not to marry?” Another thing is that, what was it the disciples were afraid of, that they never want to be involved in? And this is when we must bring caution to our lives because once a man is married, a woman is married, he or she can never be single again. The only time anyone has to be single and as well celebrate his or her singlehood it is when he or she is yet unmarried. This is my word to those who are still single, celebrate and appreciate your singlehood, and don’t be eager to rush out of it, you will never be single again once you are married. Don’t rush yourself to be married so that should you are married wrongly you are then wishing to become single again; it will never happen — Christ won’t approve it. When we look at our single brothers and sisters in the body of Christ around the world, there is this eagerness, desperation to get married, to get out of singlehood; my friends are married, so I must marry. I am not saying it is not good or normal to want to get married, but while it is possible for the singles to want to be married, same way, there are many who are married that are wishing to be loosed from their spouse, marriage.


It means, if it is not done the right way, there is no point rushing to get married. There is no point to say or come to a point to say, “If God can’t help me to get married, I will marry”. Is marrying not marrying; does it matter how or whom one marries? No, marrying is not marrying; whom you marry, or who marries you matter. Just like you cannot drink any water that you find anywhere. Can you be walking along the street, and you see water — colour green — and you say, water is water; liquid is liquid, will it not kill you? Water is water, but that you see a stagnant want somewhere does not make it fit for the water to be drank by you. If you must drink, then go to the right place or source of water. Look at Jesus at the well of water, and He saw a Samaritan woman and said to her, “Give me a drink.”  Jesus would have gone anywhere else, or even to any available trough around town, fetch to drink because He was thirsty. But He couldn’t do that, rather, He came to the well where everyone fetches water, and He says, “Give me a think [this is the only place I can drink]”


Let’s quickly look up a text in Proverbs chapter 5:15-18; the Bible says, “Drink water from your own cistern, and running water from your own well. Should your fountains be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be only your own, and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth.” You notice that the Bible does not say, wives, but “the wife of your youth”. Not that when you were 25 years, there was a woman in your life, or you married, and when you were 35, you married another and let the first go. Now you are 45 years, and you want to get a new one. That will make it wives of your youth. It says, “drink water from your own cistern” so that you don’t commit suicide, so you don’t kill yourself, so you don’t drink poison, drink water from your own well. And don’t disperse you fountain abroad, that shows that a man must be deliberate in searching for his right fountain. Until you are able to find the right woman, or the right man, you should celebrate who you are.


We will also find it in the book of 1 Corinthians because apostle Paul wrote about it. The question of whether it is good to marry is a question you must handle with God. Now you have understood from the beginning the essence of marriage. There is a purpose that necessitated marriage, and it is the purpose that necessitated the creation of the woman. The woman was required because the Lord God said, He could not find any creature that is comparable help meet for the man. So, the Lord make a helper for the man in the woman, and as soon as the God was done, He brought her to the man. When a woman is not yet made in life, and she is asking God where is the man, she is asking the wrong question. The right question should be, “Lord, how are you going go make me?” or “Lord, how are you making me?” Your focus should be on your making because in reality when God is done making you, He will bring you to the man He has made you for. But until then, be focused.


I can imagine Eve, because it was the rib the Lord took from Adam that He used to make the woman; the Lord made him to sleep. I can imagine Eve laying down, and God was forming her. Was she going up and down, no, because God was still forming her? She didn’t misfire at any point by saying Lord, you are ok with what you have formed, let me now arise, and catwalk and go for a man. No, she waited until the God was done. And when the Lord was done, He asked her to arise; and God brought her to the man, and man confessed., “This is now bone of my bones.” See, can you remove a bone of your bone from your own bones? He said, “This is flesh of my flesh, she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man”. And when God now brought that woman to him, and He said, the bone I took from you, I have made the woman, and I have brought the woman to you; and I now expect that you and the woman to join just as it was in the beginning.


The woman was in you, I took her from you, I took her away, I formed her for you, and now that she has come to you; you have the responsibility to become one with her, so when you now chase the woman out of your life, you are removing the rib completely only never to find it again. That is why, when you find men that have done that, if they want to be sincere with you, many things are missing in their lives. They might try to cover it with many activities, they can even become very religious or devote themselves to ministry; but it does not always add up, something is always missing. The disciples remarked and said if this is the case with a man and his wife, it is better not to marry.


Let’s go to 1 Corinthians chapter 7 from 1-11. We want to see the perspective of the apostle Paul: Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality…” That is why Jesus said, haven been confronted by the people, if a man divorce or puts away his wife except for sexual immorality and then she marries another person, she has committed adultery. But here Paul said it is good for a man not to touch a woman but nevertheless, meaning this is an exemption, so that sexual immorality should be avoided, let each man have his own wife and let each woman have her own husband. And that is why I said the man is doing his job when he is working on his wife. If you don’t want any act of sexual immorality in your own marriage, you do the work that you must do; you must be present. You are never there but you are complaining that the woman is busy everywhere, you are never there. So, before you cast the stone at her, please, try to ask yourself the right question, were you always there? Have I really been a husband to her?


Now, let us continue from verse 3: Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment. For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that.


In line with what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7:7, Jesus told the disciple in Matthew chapter 19 when they began to think about the matter of marriage as serious saying: For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it.” So, if you are not a eunuch, it is impossible for you to tell yourself that you won’t marry. But if you an eunuch, go ahead and tell yourself, you won’t marry. That is why apostle Paul also said I wish that all men were like him. But all men would be as he is because we all have different gifts. Let us continue from verse 8.


But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. It is better to marry than to become a prostitute. It is better to marry than to be a woman that no one wants to associate with you, or like a man that people see you like a dog. It is better to marry than to rob yourself of your own self-esteem, self-integrity, and righteousness. Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.” If there is any issue between the man and the woman, that eventually led to separation in the past, it is better they reconcile. If not, as long as one of the two is alive, the marriage is alive. If the other partner is alive, while the man goes around to sleep with other women because body is not wood, God does not accept the principle of “body no be wood”. So, God is not seeing “Body no be wood”, but an adulterer and adulteress, why? As long as both partners to a marriage union are alive, you are married.


Now, let’s continue in the book of Malachi chapter 2:14-17; the Bible says, Yet you say, “For what reason?” Because the Lord has been witnessing Between you and the wife of your youth with whom you have dealt treacherously…” You have behaved wickedly, you have cheated her, you have been unfaithful. Yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. That woman is your companion and your covenant wife. But did He not make them one, Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore, take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. “For the Lord God of Israel says That He hates divorce, for it covers one’s garment with violence,” says the Lord of hosts. “Therefore, take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.”


So, the mandate of God on a man and woman that is married is not to deal treacherously with the woman of your youth, with your own husband. The reason God made them one is because God seeks godly offspring, children. The mind of God, and the counsel of God to a man who is married is that, “Do not deal treacherously with your wife”. The unfaithful people will be judged by God. You said I do, you must do. And if you are not yet married, don’t tell yourself that if not until you marry, there is no life. If you are not married, it is ok; you will have your full time to devote to God, and what you want to do is to please Him; you want to know Him. While you are still single, focus on God, because God is working on you. Knowing that I got to know my wife 6 years before we got married, anytime I want to make jest of myself now, I will tell her, “How I wished I knew you while we were still in the university that you are the woman I will marry?” She was my very good friend while were in the university, but I never visited her in her room for the 4 years in school.


However, I will tell myself thank God, I did know you are the one, if not I would have compelled myself to be going to visit her in her room. She is not yet my wife, but I would have assumed since you will soon be my wife, cook for me today, cook for me tomorrow. And instead of her to focus on her study, her books, and prayers, she would tell herself, my husband to be will be hungry, he will have to eat, he is coming, but anyone that knew her while we were in the university understood her that, anytime she is not in lectures, or on her academics work, she is always at her regular place of prayers. And what was she doing there? She was jisting with her Lord so she could be ready for me; because she needed to be made. God knew brother Gboyega is not just any man that she can just come and fit into his life without been made. So, God didn’t bother her with the exact picture of the man less she abandoned God and focused on the man. So, God made her to be focused on Him; and as she focused on God, God made her. God took her through many rigorous experiences that if I had known she would be my future wife, I would have spare her of some of those experiences; out of love, she will be going for revival I would have said, don’t go. If you don’t eat, you will slim down, you have to eat.


Out of ignorance, I would have been preserving her and taken her out of her purpose. God knew I would destroy what I am meant to enjoy, so He make sure I didn’t know. When God was making Eve, God did not allow the man to be awake, He made him to sleep. So, I slept for 4 years. My sleep was good for me, God made her away from me, and now God has made her to join me so she can fit in. There is hardly anything I want her to do for me now that God has not tested her with them at elementary level while growing up. My own now is to enjoy the deposits of God in her. When you are always eager to know the man, you are preventing God from taking you through the rigorous experience that will make you ready for that man. Your desperation shouldn’t be where is the man, there is a training, focus on God. An unmarried virgin to focus on her Lord. And when God is done with her at the right time, without failing will bring her to the man. The man is also somewhere that God is causing to sleep, rest, haven been made.  


Is it better not to marry? It all depends on how you see it. My life has been better because I married. There are also lives that are better because they do not get married. But then don’t rush to be married and then want to get out of it. Doing so will only make your life worse; you want to destroy your own life yourself. Marriage will make your life better, not marrying at all will make your life ok. Getting married and getting out of it, your life will be messed up. So, calm down, focus on God. When you are not married, calm down, focus on God. And if you are married, focus on God in your marriage. If something is not working in the marriage, focus on God and fix it with God. Don’t say irreconcilable difference, reconcile it. Apostle Paul said, let the man or the woman be reconciled back. Apostle Paul said nothing is irreconcilable, be reconcilable. We have heard testimonies of people that divorced and separated, and then they came back after some years.


I pray that the Lord will help us in Jesus’ name.

Thanks for the gift of your time, We are Gboyega ADEDEJI and Lara Gboyega Adedeji!

Feel free to share your thoughts or testimony in the comment box below. I promise to respond to them as soon as possible!

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Word of Confession: (Optional)

Lord Jesus, I confess to you that I have sinned against the LORD God - in the rebellion of my heart, I have disappointed your expectations on my life. I have fallen from Your grace and followed wrong influences around me. Today, I retrace my steps back to you - and I ask that in your mercy you accept me as your son and give to me (again) the promise of the Father - the Holy Spirit. Lord Jesus, please, come and make my heart your home, and from there rule in the affairs of all men. In Jesus Name I have prayed.


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I am a Woman of God's Purpose in Nigeria. I Coach Women in Leadership for true National Emancipation. I am a Spiritual Identity Mentor & ED, Flickers of Hope Foundation, Abuja-Nigeria!

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